two main fears
Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:24 pm
I have 2 fears but one I can handle (for the kids and the other I can't at all)
The one I can handle is the fear of Thunder and lightening.... I have always (ever since childhood) been terrified of thunder and lightening, if I am on my own I go to pieces in a storm, but if the kids are with me I manage to hold myself together as I don't want them like I am in a storm.
The other one is the fear of people...
I HAVE to take the kids to school so I have no option twice a day to do the 5 min walk to school and back but then I will get home and stay there. I daren't even sit in the garden in case the neighbours come out and speak.
Most of it has come about since being rape/sexually abused over a number of years and then trying to tell a close friend (or I thought she was) but she let me down severely. I dont trust anyone, not the dr, the therapist, most of my family (even though I love them dearly)
I don't even trust myself half the time.
People I have let in have either pushed my feelings aside, walked over me, feared me in case I was mad, or walked away/left me.
so I keep myself to myself and only speak to anyone if I really need to and if possible try to contact them on the phone so I dont physically have to face them
The one I can handle is the fear of Thunder and lightening.... I have always (ever since childhood) been terrified of thunder and lightening, if I am on my own I go to pieces in a storm, but if the kids are with me I manage to hold myself together as I don't want them like I am in a storm.
The other one is the fear of people...
I HAVE to take the kids to school so I have no option twice a day to do the 5 min walk to school and back but then I will get home and stay there. I daren't even sit in the garden in case the neighbours come out and speak.
Most of it has come about since being rape/sexually abused over a number of years and then trying to tell a close friend (or I thought she was) but she let me down severely. I dont trust anyone, not the dr, the therapist, most of my family (even though I love them dearly)
I don't even trust myself half the time.
People I have let in have either pushed my feelings aside, walked over me, feared me in case I was mad, or walked away/left me.
so I keep myself to myself and only speak to anyone if I really need to and if possible try to contact them on the phone so I dont physically have to face them