social phobias & more

For example: agoraphobia, claustrophobia, social phobia.

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es225
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Location: PA, USA

social phobias & more

Postby es225 » Wed Feb 03, 2010 1:10 am

I seem to always have problems around other people. I really don't have too many people who I would call friends...acquaintances perhaps, but not really friends. I seem to just have social phobias like being afraid of being rejected, which in turn makes me not even really want to seek out the company of others, which makes me even more isolated. Even things as simple as just posting on an internet forum, I'm always afraid I'll be odd man out, or make a fool of myself, or just not fit , or get rebuffed, etc. I need not even consider relationships, because of how socially uncomfortable I am.
Also, I really get depressed about worrying about the future, and am afraid of becoming a failure. Right now for example, I am simply ready to quit my current course of study (mechanical engineering) in college, all because of one class (physics of static objects), and switch to something else (some kind of social science area of study), but I'm afraid I won't be able to get a job in that area, or that I'll end up with a poor paying job. Fear of the future, in short, I guess.
I should also mention, a fear of committing to things. Even at this moment, I'm really indecisive as to what I should do about my college problems, if I should push forward, or go to a different program. There are other things, too but I think this sums up the basics.

hollyann
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Postby hollyann » Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:04 am

Hi. You're very courageous for sharing here with all of your fears you managed it anyways. You should give yourself a pat on the back for it. You'll find compassion and understanding here. You wont be the odd man out here. Have you thought about seeking the guidance counselor at your college and explaining what you are thinking about doing and why? Maybe he/she might have some suggestions for you. It's natural to worry about the future. Lots do, just have to try and not let it stop you from doing something you might be happy with. Easier said than done I know. But you'll get there.

wishing you the best
holly

Visceral
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Postby Visceral » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:08 am

It is certainly easier to give advice than follow it! I am soooo awkward socially and I just got of a year of being a virtual recluse... that being said:
Revel in that which makes you unique! :D
Accept who you are, in full! If you worry too much about the past and future, you will miss out on the full experience of the present. I myself tend to agonize for days, weeks, months over the smallest thing....however, I try to remind myself that every sum of every part makes the whole special. (hmmm, do I sound like a hallmark card, sorry! see, I am already obsessing...)
I went to an ivy leage university, and it was a difficult journey. definitely listen to those you respect, but try to follow yor heart over all. I chose a career in art, and I often hace to choose between food and meds, but I am still happier than I was working in a corporate environment.

so, alll in all: have faith in yourself! you can make it!!!! :D

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crystalgaze
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Postby crystalgaze » Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:03 pm

Wow, Visceral, you go! Es, I think every one has said all that I would say. Welcome to the forum! ~waves~

StrongMindqc
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Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 8:48 pm

dont fear the negative evaluation.. No one is perfect!

Postby StrongMindqc » Mon May 10, 2010 9:07 pm

Like visceral said it def is easier to give advice.. However social phobia is the fear of the negative evaluation. The mind is the most powerful tool in our body and if we allow it to take over then you can destroy your life. If your phobia gets to the point where it is making decisions in your life then you should definitely consider CBT (cognitive Behavioral therapy). It has helped many people in the same situation as you and the outcome was great. It retrains your thinking process and you beat your phobia. Life is to beautiful to fear it so dont let your phobia lead your life. Like is said no one is perfect.

Obayan
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Postby Obayan » Tue Jun 29, 2010 2:03 am

Each of us are unique and so are our situations. Our needs vary, therefore our treatment results vary. Just know that we are here. You aren't alone. And you need not be afraid here. Some very nice people here.

pablos
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Postby pablos » Tue Jun 29, 2010 2:27 pm

I don't know if its a social phobia or not, but when I am in a large group of people I feel uneasy and somewhat anxious. And when I feel anxious I tend to roam looking for a place to "fit in", or if food is avalable I eat, etc.

Probably the biggest reasons for this are: 1. I don't hear well in noisy situations and unless I have someone specific to talk with I become isolated and find it hard to start a conversation with people I do not know. If I do start a conversation with some one then its the typical "hi, hello, how are you." then because of the anxiety of not hearing I cannot think of what else to say. 2. I fear being rejected and not understood.

In general situations with just one person or small group, again the same thing applies and even if I explain my hearing issue, people do not understand and don't know how to deal with it. Its like starting over again, and again, and again in each new situation. Its frustrating and gets tiresome so I tend to avoid situations where I can't do anything about it.
I am getting better at asking for clarification, trying to assert myself, etc. But I have had some very bad experiences with this and that does not help.

I have lost friends or avoided people for these reasons and it can be hard for me to make new friends.

Need less to say this all leads to isolation and >>>depression<<<.

pablos

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:40 pm

((((((((((( pablos ))))))))))))))))

Know it is on computer, but you have new friends here, count me in.

Warmie

Obayan
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Postby Obayan » Wed Jun 30, 2010 12:49 am

((( pablos ))) welcome to the family my friend

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:04 am

((((((((((( pablos ))))))))))))))))

Hoping today is a better day for you...just a hug your way..

Warmie

Prycejosh1987
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Re: social phobias & more

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Sun Jun 07, 2020 11:33 am

es225 wrote:I seem to always have problems around other people. I really don't have too many people who I would call friends...acquaintances perhaps, but not really friends. I seem to just have social phobias like being afraid of being rejected, which in turn makes me not even really want to seek out the company of others, which makes me even more isolated. Even things as simple as just posting on an internet forum, I'm always afraid I'll be odd man out, or make a fool of myself, or just not fit , or get rebuffed, etc. I need not even consider relationships, because of how socially uncomfortable I am.
Also, I really get depressed about worrying about the future, and am afraid of becoming a failure. Right now for example, I am simply ready to quit my current course of study (mechanical engineering) in college, all because of one class (physics of static objects), and switch to something else (some kind of social science area of study), but I'm afraid I won't be able to get a job in that area, or that I'll end up with a poor paying job. Fear of the future, in short, I guess.
I should also mention, a fear of committing to things. Even at this moment, I'm really indecisive as to what I should do about my college problems, if I should push forward, or go to a different program. There are other things, too but I think this sums up the basics.

You need to let people grow on you. It can happen if you let them in. Not everybody is the same, not everybody will hurt you. But, you have to learn on having a higher capacity to not care what people think.


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