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Getting involved with someone who has a mental illness

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 2:38 am
by Granmakris
Hi. I just was wondering if anyone with a mental illness of their own ever got into a relationship with someone who also has a mental illness? I have had this experience recently and am finding it very difficult to deal with. I am Bipolar and got involved with a man who is Schizophrenic and Bipolar. I feel like my emotions are being played with and don't know what to do. His moods are so severe there are times I don't even feel like I know him. Then at other times he is very loving and shows emotional and acts like he really cares about me. I never know what to expect from him on any given day. I have a hard enough time dealing with my own illness much less putting up with someone else's. I know that may sound selfish, but I just don't have it in me. If anyone has any input or experience on this matter please give me some feedback. It would be much appreciated. Thank You.[/b]

Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:34 am
by CitM
I have never felt that two people in a relationship with mental health issues are a good idea. But that depends on the mental health issues. For example, someone with OCD and someone with depression as long as it's not severe might actually help each other because it doesn't reinforce the illness patterns.

However, in your case you both have mood disorders. Not sure how the schizophrenia presents, but if it is sever like you said, that is difficult to live with even for a healthy person. If it is mild and the person is aware and takes medication to make it even more mild, that's livable.

It depends on the individuals and the severity of symptoms. But are you both becoming sicker together? Or are you getting well together? Strive for health for both your sakes.

Great Question

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 11:02 am
by 100footpole
Almost by definition people in these forums are fighting their own personal demons. When giving advice we will start with the assumptions that work for us.

Given that I agree with CitM's answer 100%. One of the advantages of depression is that it sometimes enables you to be more objective than a non-depressed person. CitM points out that the best thing for both parties is to be healthy. You need to decide if healthier is together or apart.

Healthy is not a stable state. Change is the trite but true constant for modern existence. We are tempted to confuse "healthy" with "good enough". Healthy is happy, and supplies a purpose. Good Enough is satisfied, but you are often left asking the question "Why?".

I think a diary helps you track whether the decisions you are making are healthy or just good enough. Write down things that make you feel good when they happen. I think after you find enough of those your path will feel clearer to you. What things make you feel cared for and loved?