I am so old, when I eat out, they ask for money up front.
I am so old, food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants.
I am so old, I don't buy green bananas.
I am so old, when I was younger all I wanted was a nice BMW. I don't care about the W.
I am so old, I am now in the initial stages of my golden years. SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP....
I am so old, when we married we married for better or worse. She couldn't do better, I couldn't do worse.
I am so old, when I was young I was taught to respect my elders. Now I don't have anyone to respect.
I am so old, when I ask my wife if old men wore boxers or briefs, she said 'Depends'!
I am so old, that Snap, Crackle and Pop in the morning ain't my Rice Krispies.
I am so old, that sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let her sleep.
I am so old, Campbell's has come out with a new Alphabet Soup for Seniors, large type.
I am so old, I found the secret to staying younger is to live honestly.....eat slowly and to lie about your age.
I am so old, that I realize I am not old, I am Chronologically Gifted.
I am so old, I now see Florida as God's waiting room.
Remember, never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night!
Warmie
