Depression Understood Forums

Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 6:15 pm

New Year Resolutions for Pets

13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.

9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.

8. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!

7. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.

6. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

5. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

4. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!

3. January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...

1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND