1. Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.
2. A termite walks into a bar room and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
3. "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
4. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
5. Why are proctologists so gloomy? They always have the end in sight.
6. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin' Catholic.
7. What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.
8. What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him out for a drag.
9. Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
10. Famous last words of a mafia hitman: "Who put the violin in the violin case?"
11. How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
12. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
13. What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
14. What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
15. What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit? A bad hare day.
16. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? That's because he hides well.
17. What was the centerpiece of the annual Anorexia and Bulimnia sufferers convention? A cake
jumping out of a girl.
18. Where do kings keep their armies? In their sleevies.
19. Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies.
Warmie
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