Depression Understood Forums

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man . . . and then my dog bit me."

"So . . . I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve;

and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!.... But, hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"

Warmie

Hello Warmie:

Way to go Warmie, that was a treat to read. Here's one that isn't a joke but it is absurd. What do you think, is this next story real or fictitious?

Ps. (I got it from my daughter who saw it on the internet.)

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A man is driving a bus full of mental patients to a mental hospital somewhere in south Africa. He decides to stop at an illegal bar to have a drink or two. When he comes out, all of the mental patients are gone. Knowing that he will lose his job, and further, because he feels so embarrassed by his mistake, he decides on the following procedure.

He drives to a bus stop and offers the people there a free ride downtown. But instead, he takes them to the mental hospital. He locks up the bus and goes inside to tell them that his "patients" are really upset and paranoid. He says that they are making up all kinds of weird stories. He then brings them all into the hospital. It took 3 days before the hospital could be convinced that the people were normal and their story was true.

St8arrow,

LOL I have no clue, anything is possible. Thanks again for sharing with us.

Warmie

Here's another one. Is this true or false? My daughter sent this to me in an email and once again I don't know if it true or false.

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A man in Saskatchewan, Canada, bought himself a brand new SUV for $50,000. He then phoned his friend and suggested that they go out duck hunting the next day. Since it was the middle of winter, the local lake was frozen.

I suppose this guy had access to some dynamite (probably illegally) and he decided to go out on the lake, throw the dynamite with a 30 second fuse on it and when it blew up the ice, they would wait for a duck to land in the water and then shoot it.

He threw the dynamite but before doing so, he failed to put his trusty dog inside his SUV. The poor dog thought it was time to play run and fetch. When he picked up the dynamite and headed back to his master, the two men were screaming and waving him away from them.

Finally, the poor dog decided to hide under the SUV. Luckily for him, he failed to crouch down far enough and he burned his rump on the exhaust pipe. When this happened, he dropped the dynamite and ran far away.

The dynamite exploded under the SUV and blew it into pieces. The Insurance Company refused to pay for the damages and the guy was left with no SUV but with 5 years of payments to make on his non-existent truck. Luckily, the dog survived.

Crazy enough to be true, but then what do I know? LOL

Warmie

That was absolute ROFL..... (but unfortunate at the same time)