Depression Understood Forums

Cute what kids come up with!

1
She was in the bathroom, putting on her make-up, under the
watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After
she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But
Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!' I will probably
never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet
paper good-bye...

2
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.'
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'

3
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed
into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As
she heard the children getting more and more rumbustious, her patience
grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into
their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was
THAT?'

4
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony.
We picked wild raspberries in the woods. 'The little girl was wide-eyed,
taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you
sooner!'

5
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?' I mentally polished my halo while I
asked, 'No, how are we alike?' 'You're both old,' he replied.

6
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it
about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'

7
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so
I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it
was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, 'Grandma, I
think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'

8
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, 'It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with
flash-lights.'

9
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'mine
says I'm four to six.'

10
A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.'
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her
cool. 'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?' 'It's
simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'

11
Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,'
said a teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy
confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'

12
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front
seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the
dog's duties. 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck. 'A third child brought the
argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire
hydrants...