Oxymorons

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

THIS SHOULD PUT A LAUGH OR SMILE IN YOUR DAY

Oxymorons

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

20. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

21. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

23. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

24. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

26. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

27. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? I dunno, why do we?

Warmie

[Obayan]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Yes.

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

Because the seconds is what it counts down.

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

We wouldn’t.

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

From the word a day calendar.

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

A whack is the nack. The nack of being familiar and normal.

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Slow up is the abbreviated version of “slow down so I can catch up”.

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

A fat chance implies you may have a chance…. Slim as it may be. A slim chance implies you have no chance.

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Um, because it would take more power than the motor has to actually pull it. Takes less energy/power to push.

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

It’s an American tradition to sing that song in the hopes of actually being able to enjoy a good game.

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

I call them bleachers, but they don’t bleach anything. J

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

It refers to after darkness has come upon us.

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Yes.

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

A wise man once said, “don’t be a wise guy”.

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

You oversee in order to avoid overlooking.

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

From a linguistics perspective, English spelling is based on the alphabetic principle. In an alphabetic writing system, letters are used to represent speech sounds, or phonemes. For example, the word pat is spelled with three letters, p, a, and t, each representing a phoneme, respectively, /p/, /æ/, and /t/.

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

Volunteer…..

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Behind me.

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Ever seen a model in a nightie?

19. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Ok. You stumped me there.

20. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Man is meant to be more powerful than the average remote.

21. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

To easier carry them to the laundry machine.

22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Abv.

23. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Yes, but then they are wet and hug to dry. Not very effective on killing the bacteria that grows from water.

24. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Ever tried to get more than a few drops from a bottle of superglue?

25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

It’s a set of channels….. Ok, I’m reaching on this one.

26. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

Easter!

27. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? I dunno, why do we?

Define parkway…..

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

LOL (((((((( Obayan ))))))))))))))))))

You answered them. Show off.

Warmie

[TackingIntoTheWind]

Okay, I'm the first to admit that I can't really back this up with anything, but...

25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

Is it possible that this expression dates back to when radio was first discovered? I heard somewhere that in the very early days of radio, people built their own radio sets. ( Something called a " cat's whisker " set I think it was called? ) You found and assembled a number of components that would allow you to pick up whatever radio signals that you could find, using this set of components, which perhaps have given rise to the expression radio set ( Ie. a set of component parts that would allow you to receive radio transmissions? )
Just a thought?

[Obayan]

Prior to 1935 (yes, there was TV prior to 1935), televisions were
mechanical devices that were not entirely electronic. The device was
made up of a "set" of specific items, namely a small motor, a spinning
disk and a neon light. Without any of these, (ie, the set was
incomplete) the device would not work. The term "mechanical
television" eventually gave way to the term "television set" to
describe all types of TV's, though other less popular and shorter
lived names such as "Televisor" and "Shadowgraph" were used briefly to
refer to certain models.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

LOL, a joke going technical! Great!

Warmie

[Obayan]

Ok, now i'm showing off......

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Yep, you are! LOL, I said that!

Warmie