What's Irish and stays out all night?
Patio Furniture.
Why didn't the turkey cross the road?
Because he wasn't chicken.
Where do you find chili beans?
At the North Pole.
Who don't penguins fly?
They're not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette.
The problem with money is that it is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
Because it's two tired.
When a marathon runner had ill fitting shoes, he suffers the agony of defeat.
How do you define a will?
It's a Dead Giveaway.
The man who had fallen into an upholstery factory is now said to be fully recovered.
Your debt will stay with you if you can't budge it.
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
Calendar days are numbered.
What do you call a train loaded with toffee?
A chew chew train.
What is the world's most popular wine?
I don’t like Brussels sprouts.
How do chickens dance?
Chick to chick.
What kind of tree do fingers grow on?
A palm tree.
Warmie
