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My story

Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 9:30 am
by CarMadMike
Hey all,

Well, it all started a few years ago, me and my family decided we'd had enough of the busy lifestyle, we hardly ever seen each other and life was rather stressful, so we moved to the south of france.

Life out there was good to an extent, but I lived in the middle of nowhere, and when at school I had trouble communicating with everyone because of the language barrier (i'm fluent in french now), so I had no social life, and I feel this has had a very big effect on me.

I'm lonely, very lonely, and this is just half the problem, I'm a teenager, most people i'm around have a girlfriend, they may not "love" each other but it's always good to have that special someone. Yet again that isn't the main part of my depression you see, I'm gay, And I'm still in the closet, no one knows that i'm gay, and I just haven't been able to tell them, me and my parents have a very good relationship, but i always keep things from me, I don't moan when I'm ill or anything, I suffer alone, I have no idea why I don't talk to those around me about these things, something just stops me.

So we recently moved back to the UK, as my sister has had a baby, Due to the fact it's the end of the school year, we didn't think it was necessary for me to go back to school for a few weeks, so I'm pretty much alone all day.

I have little to no self confidence, I have facebook but i've never once sent a friend request on there, because I'm too paranoid about being rejected, I'm lonely, I feel like a complete waste of space, I hate myself, And as much as I'd like support, I've got none.

Thanks for reading,

Mike.

Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 6:00 pm
by SOUP
First of all Mike I´d like to congratulate you for coming here. You recognized that you are not well and need help. That takes lots of courage and willpower to do. You already made a friend in me, so welcome to the family :). I hope other members of the forum can give you more insight on coming out to your parents. I am also male, but I am not gay, and I think it would be better if someone who went through that experience gives you advice on that topic.

Repressing your thoughts and emotions can be very self destructive. From what I´ve read you seem to be depressed, and I would highly recommend seeing a therapist. You must tell your parents how you feel in order for you to have a better perspective of your options.

Hope you get better,

SOUP

Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 9:04 pm
by aim
Mike,
Speaking as someone who has worked with gay youth, please hear me when I tell you that you must must must speak to an adult about this, ok? Can you talk to your parents? A teacher at school? An aunt or uncle or grandparent?

Mike, it is not easy being gay, you absolutely need support. It only takes one person who loves you to support you and make you KNOW that you are a good person and deserve all of the love and kindness in the world. If there are people in your life who don't understand your lifestyle, screw them. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. It is their close-mindedness getting in the way of caring for a wonderful kid like you.

Please Mike. Find someone to confide in. There has to be someone.

((((Mike))))

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:42 am
by Warmsoul/Jeanie13
((((((((((((((( CarMadMike ))))))))))))))))))

Hi, and welcome. Have read your post and wanted to point out you are human, with desires like everyone else. Who are they/we to say what is right or wrong. We listen to the heart, we know what is important and do what we can. Your life is just that 'your life'. Do what is right for you, for the ones that don't understand, feel it is their loss for not knowing the caring person you are.

Being happy isn't an easy thing today, be true to yourself, what I feel.

Hope to see more posting from you. Some wonderful, caring and supportive people about in the forums. Give them a chance.

Take care

Warmie

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:22 pm
by aim
Mike... what's going on, my new friend? Any news on your front? I hope you come back soon... believe it or not there are caring people here who do worry when a new friend comes to the forums and is in pain. I hope you are well, Mike. And I hope you come back soon.

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:50 pm
by Warmsoul/Jeanie13
((((((((((((((( CarMadMike ))))))))))))))))))

Yes lots of honest caring people, continue posting and find them, they care, and will do all they can to stand beside you.

Warmie