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afraid of ?

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:30 am
by xn728
ive been very depressed for days now ,all my life ive suffered this torment ,but the last few days has been hell ,laying down ,not being altogether with it ,and i can only think of death ,and just now i got really upset with myself and said come on man ,your always telling others to be strong so get it to gether ,but alas nothing ,and why ,i have just realised
im more afraid of living than i am dying ,i have so much love and hope for everyone in my life here at home ,and here with my dear freinds ,but im losing this battle just now ,why do i never get cut any slack ,,,,,,sorry for being morbid ,,,,,,,,,xn728,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ken

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:35 am
by Mich
You hit the nail on the head for me with this post....the part about being more afraid of living than dying. That is certainly true for me and may be in part what keeps me sick. My wish for you is some relief today; may you have some of the comfort that you always extend to others.

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 12:05 pm
by dandelion
Life is full of challenges and this is one of them, i know that you are strong enough to fight it, hope you feel better soon

dandelion

mich and dandelion

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 12:54 pm
by xn728
mich thanks for your reply ,yes i know you feel this way to ,and even though i can see no way out for me at present ,i know i must stand fast ,and take what ever the visitor gives to me ,my eyes are glazed with tears im fighting so hard to hide from fran ,shes feeding me all sorts because im losing weight rapidly ,and im stuffing mars bars in my face to give me energy ,but i know your all with me ,but if i fall i dont think i will feel you lift me up again ,im frightened and i dont know whats happening to me ,i will be strong ,as long as i know someone walks with me ,

dandelion ,your kind words also lift me ,how could i have expect words from you ,so soon if at all ,but i welcome them more than you know ,and you have given me another reply ,without even typing ,you have shown me that i hadnt pushed you to far away from me in my moment of madness ,and now i feel like i have at least a little more of my freinds around me than i did a few hours ago ,dear freinds thankyou
i must lay down again now ,i will close my eyes and walk within the forum and greet you all in passing your words i will run my fingers over in the hope i will feel a little less baron ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ken ,,,,,,,,,xn728