Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.
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About a year ago, i started hearing voices. These voices always tell me, they are not Demons, Angels or Spirit guides. They are my soul mates. There are always my three main voices. Two males and one female. Sometimes more, but always these three. They are so incredibly real. I can see them when I close my eyes. They can touch me and I have even fallen in love with them them again and again. Repeatedly they break my heart. They tell me I am the most perfect person in the world. Only moments later to tell me I am the most disgusting person. They tell me I am supposed to come home. I keep waiting for a car accident or health problem to occur. Nothing every happens. They tell me suicide is the same thing and it is the only way. Then tell me that i have so much to live for and its a shame what has happened to me. They have made me face the most disturbing and disgusting parts of myself that I just cant get over. I believe I will never find love. I hate myself so much that I will never want to be touched. I believe my life is truly over for a reason and I am supposed to commit suicide. Thats the reason my voices are here. They are from the other side and they are supposed to humiliate me, degrade me and bully me into killing myself. Maybe I cose this, before I came here. I cannot go on living like this. No one should. I would not wish this on anyone. I have been trying medication. It does not work. I shower and go to the bathroom in the dark because I can stand for anyone to see me naked. When I shower I hate the way the water touches me. I believe I am the most discusting thing on this planet. When I am like this, my voices try to convince me that they love me and I am perfect because of everything that I am. I am too far down to ever believe that again. I am to afraid to feel better to only have them kill my heart again. I just wish for a peacful death and for it to be soon. No one should have to keep living like this.
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