Resentment is drowning me- infidelity

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ack986
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2022 5:50 am

Resentment is drowning me- infidelity

Postby ack986 » Sun Jul 31, 2022 6:04 am

I feel like I’m drowning and getting farther away from my true self. I’m looking for anything that can help me survive and navigate my situation.

Back story: this has been the worst 18 months of my life. My neighbor set fire to our house last summer and we lost everything. My partner got a job offer in a different state around the same time, so we tried to see this as an opportunity. We spent all of our money moving and replacing our burnt items (the neighbor’s insurance still hasn’t paid a dime and is trying to “run out the clock”). Only to find out recently that my partner was cheating on me during this stressful time with his baby mama, who he still has to interact with for the next three years. I also lost my uncle during this time.

I am in a new place with none of my favorite activities available because of the geographical location, I have no friends close, I can’t afford therapy because all of my money has been tied up in this fire drama, I have no friends to decompress with, I feel like I have no one to talk to, etc.

I decided to try to work things out because I would always regret it if I didn’t at least try, but honestly, this has all been too much. I constantly feel weighted down and can’t breathe. I feel crazy and have emotional spikes that I can’t control because of the betrayal.

I guess my questions are:

1. How can I breathe again??? And I know the easiest answer may be “leave him” but as I’m working out my life, I need to be able to breathe WHILE I’m here, not after I’m gone. And…

2. Has anyone who has experienced infidelity ever been able to truly breathe again?? Especially if you’re stuck in a situation where your partner has to keep seeing the person he cheated with??

I feel like the “real me” who was once kind and happy and overly empathetic is just wilting away and dying and I don’t like the angry and stressed and weighted down version that is replacing her.

I don’t know where else to turn. Any guidance or suggestions would be so helpful in my journey.

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