lost and alone

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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licklelou
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2022 2:30 pm

lost and alone

Postby licklelou » Sun Mar 20, 2022 3:13 pm

first time on here dont know where to turn sometimes feel myself spiraling deeper and deeper lost wishing someone was there to advise guide and support but no its just me. i dont know whether anyone else can relate to being tired and drained of pretending everything is ok when really youre drowing in depression anxiety lonliness emptyness. does it ever get easier

Silver Medallion
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2022 5:21 am

Re: lost and alone

Postby Silver Medallion » Sat Apr 09, 2022 5:30 am

You're not alone. I could write the very same thing. I'm so very tired, despite having a good life and living comfortably. I feel lost too. I think so many of us feel the same way and wish for someone to confide in. I get through by knowing that the worst days are temporary. Better days come by from time to time and I deserve them. So do you.
We're here together. We can advise eachother.
Tell me what you want advise on and maybe I have some to give.

Smints81
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2022 2:56 pm

Re: lost and alone

Postby Smints81 » Sat Apr 09, 2022 3:20 pm

Hey. I feel alone. I am not alone, married with kids but feel it, totally feel lost currently. Googling and found this page. I just feel I would be better off dead and cannot do anything to fix my situation. I Recently had adhd diagnosis and thought it was going to fix all my issues. But in debt and it's just left me frustrated at 40 that I didnt know earlier. I feel trapped from all the mistakes I have made due to what looks like adhd, that I probably wouldnt of done if I knew about having adult adhd. Hit brickwall with it. I get motivated to fix things but not been able to and feel I have fallen into a pit of sadness. I really dont see the point of carrying on in so much pain and not seeing a way to fix it. I feel people would be better off without me. I have tried to enjoy things but my partner who is depressed just drains my energy and I am left with feeling what is the point. If I ran away and was alone I probably long for what I have and I just would never be happy ever. The only way I can see I can be happy is if I magically got a pot of money. Then I see people who have lots of money miserable too... money doesnt buy you happiness and I just see no way out. Not sure what I feel achieve posting this. Just feel physically sick with sadness and I hate it.

Silver Medallion
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2022 5:21 am

Re: lost and alone

Postby Silver Medallion » Sat Apr 09, 2022 6:23 pm

You achieve letting it out, which is way better than letting it fester inside.
Everyone makes mistakes. If you hadn't had adhd you just would have made other mistakes. It's human. I struggle with my mistakes too. Sometimes I feel so completely worthless because I just can't get through one single day without feeling like I've done something wrong, some nights every single faulty thing I think I've done almost eats me alive. And it's mostly because I think other people dislike me for it. I feel like it makes me worthless and unworthy of being loved by anyone. Then I think "If someone else had done this-would I condemn them for it?" The answer is no most of the time. Don't judge yourself for mistakes you wouldn't put others down for. And don't judge yourself for mistakes done because of your adhd. It's another way to function and you did the best you could. If people didn't know, didn't understand it's not your fault. My daughter has adhd and I see her struggle every day. I struggle with her.
I know how hard and tiring it is, especially when people don't understand and unintentionally makes it worse. You got your diagnosis recently and I think it makes it harder for you and that it is a form of crisis adjusting to it. As you said; a diagnosis doesn't solve everything. It's so easy to think that it will, but once it's there - no matter how expected it is-there are new worries and new anxiety. What's good about it, at least in my opinion, is that there are new ways to handle it. There are medications, support groups and hopefully new understanding of yourself and that you can't help functioning the way you do. It's a tool to build new strategies to handle life and feel better. It's a reason to forgive yourself for things that wasn't your fault.
Being in this situation, carrying this burden, you need someone to help you lift it. Your husband might not be able to because of his depression that also pulls you down but there are millions of people out there with adhd who understand what you're going through and can help, who can relate.
I've lived with depression most of my life and the best advice I can give is to let it out-talk, talk, talk. Talk to me or other strangers. Talk to medical professionals. Talk to anyone, pour the pain out so you don't have to carry it all alone. Sometimes it's even easier to talk to faceless people online. Afterwards you don't need to feel ashamed of confessing your thoughts or deeds. They don't know you, they'll not pass you by on the street and judge you. And if they ever did they would be wrong.
You matter. You've done good things, don't forget those. The good things we do aren't made of big epic heroism but the small everyday things we do that make others happy. Nobody can do those things you do that are so good for others.
You feel like you're trapped, like you can't do anything but there is always something you can do no matter how small, no matter how trivial it might feel right then it's a step forward.
That's my advice.

Sa21x
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun May 22, 2022 5:59 am

Re: lost and alone

Postby Sa21x » Sun May 22, 2022 6:06 am

I'm new here feeling very lost and alone :(


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