Trauma

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Ghost33
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2021 4:32 am

Trauma

Postby Ghost33 » Wed Oct 13, 2021 4:46 am

I'm writing a book about my life. It's hard to believe even for me that I have been attacked by life with trauma and abuse and grief so many times and by so many people. I've literally lived as a victim for 44 years. I am changing this. I am going to be the victor and I think sharing my story is gonna help someone. From my earliest memories, I can remember pain. My grandma died from melanoma while I sat on his lap eating a cookie at 5. He was my favorite human. A few months later my infant cousin died too. My mom was a teenager and a shitty mom. Still is unless someone is watching. I've been raped by multiple men including friends, family, even my own father at 9 years old. I was beaten and almost died because of my bio dad. Spent some time on the hospital and then got sent to foster care until they sent me back to mom. I lived in the ghetto. The only white girl. That's why they call me ghost well sorta. Had to fight all the time to survive. I was the minority. forced out on my own at days into 17. Moved in with 1st husband who beat me and controlled my every move. Almost died. Two more husband's who cheat and steal and do everything but be good husbands. Now three kiddos from last marriage and a single mom. Finally a prayer I prayed my entire life.....a man planted himself in my life that was damn near perfect. Worshipped me and my kids. We all knew our life was finally gonna change. He was our everything and the best human anyone ever met. Then.....he gave someone a ride and they brutally murdered him. I'm bipolar and have anxiety and PTSD and am holding on by a thread. And I have no friends or family left. They weren't there for us so it's just me and the kids. I have no idea how we survived this or should I say daily survive it.

natnat
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2021 1:33 pm

Re: Trauma

Postby natnat » Thu Oct 14, 2021 1:48 pm

Hey there, I'm so sorry to hear all you've been through and how you're feeling. I completely understand why you're writing a book about it. Just know that you're not alone. It's so hard to accept the horrible things that have happened consistently throughout life. You are so strong and brave. My best advice is the same as any therapist or online post about depression - just keep on trying to focus on the good things. You just cant let that little voice in your head win, and oh my goodness you've made so far juggling so much! Truly that is inspirational. Keep on keeping on, don't give up, and know that you are one of a kind and on earth for a reason! Three children!! That is so insane and a blessing. One day you will finish that book with a happy ending :)

shaltim
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2021 12:55 am

Re: Trauma

Postby shaltim » Thu Oct 14, 2021 10:05 pm

My hope for you is that you gain a strong sense, or maybe while starting out just a nice amount of "I MATTER." I would like to read your story. That would make for a good day while sitting on the dock of a bay. I know I would have questions like if she works, what does she do when vacation comes around. Has she ever pondered and cherished what newness can bring. Newness brings excitement and change, and it never has to be extravagant. And most important, it gives something to look forward to. I remember finally learning how to swim in my late forties. A few months later I learned to scuba dive and was marveling at that whole other world in the sea. I think that I escape deeper unhappiness because I am inquisitive and at times search for newness. I also repeat the things that I know and love fairly consistently. Maybe these thoughts can lead you to something that brightens your day. Then maybe one day you'll share some of your words to your future book by private message to me. I'd enjoy that. I like creative writings and words of reality. I like real life movies the most as well.
We hope for better days.


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