okay its my first time posting anything on a forum like this so forgive my lack of awareness.
tw for eating disorders and mentions of s/h btw,
i guess this is just a vent but anyways, i feel a little bad talking about this considering ive never been to a therapist so i dont have a diagnosis but i think ive always had some mental health issues bouncin around in my little brain since i was a kid. I used to (and still do) partake in self destructive behaviors. i used to hurt myself in front of parents and i remember they used to just laugh it off and make fun of me. i guess they thought it was some sort of little kid thing that would go away but it got worse. ive developed severe anxiety and i have no idea where it came from. i cant step outside without panicking anymore. i get harassed a lot in public when im walking home and it makes me shut down completely. im scared one day they're gonna actually hurt me and im not gonna have the energy to fight back because of my history with eating disorders. half the time im left with barely enough energy to function and i know its gonna bite me in the backside real soon. i would see a therapist but my university is too financially demanding and im saving up to move out next year so i just can afford it. i dunno, im just scared whats gonna become of me or if my issues are gonna keep holding me back in life. if i cant move out because of it dont know what im going to do with myself.
anyways sorry for the massive wall of text and spelling errors, but writing it down here and posting it is helping me clear my mind. even if theres a high chance of this being deleted aha.
Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.
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