Helping anxious friend find love, any suggestions?

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useranonymous
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2020 1:11 pm

Helping anxious friend find love, any suggestions?

Postby useranonymous » Thu Jun 03, 2021 1:50 am

My friend has 5 kids. Her and that father still live together but not together anymore. He is the earner and he has 2 jobs working from home. She doesn't work. She was upset because she says she wants someone to love her however I struggled to find things to say to help because she is a very anxious person and she doesn't go out. She takes a high dose of anti depressants and complains of pain in her knees. She also does not drive and lives in an area with nothing. Many times Ive offered to take her out on girly days out it offered to go for a dog walk with her and I've booked her a place on a couple of mild fitness groups I go to because she's said she wants to go, then she always cancels on me. I suggested registering on a dating site but she shot me down and said she doesn't talk to people on them. Please understand I AM a very anxious person myself but I can drive and I get out there alot more than she does and I dont rely on anti depressants. And yes, I have had my lows and I still do struggle with getting depressed and anxious but I think I just deal with it differently to her. The fact she can't drive and is stuck at home living with her ex does not help. The only times She gets out the house is the school run. I go round to see her alot, always messaging her, but what more can I do, really? She won't go for a walk with me, she won't go shopping with me, she won't go to a class with me, she won't do anything with me other than me going over there. How am I supposed to help her find love if she hides away at home and won't get herself out there. And yes I do understand what anxiety and depression are like but my way of getting better is to just go out with my 2 year old and talk to people. I find it better than just running to the doctor for meds which you get reliant on anyway, so please don't anybody say I do not understand her feelings

Tealeaves
Posts: 75
Joined: Wed May 05, 2021 3:54 am

Re: Helping anxious friend find love, any suggestions?

Postby Tealeaves » Thu Jun 03, 2021 9:06 am

Hello,
I have a friend, very similar to that; I feel your concern.
I have a few questions; they may seem odd.

1. Does she get stuck in certain thoughts?

2. Does she have a creative side?
If no; has she ever had one?

3. Does she seem to accept things but then gets nervous or anxious? (Anxiety over thing she has accepted, or; she even gets anxious about something completely off topic)

4. The people, she was raised by; are they married; or were they married; during her childhood? Are they divorced now?

And finally, the boyfriend/roommate, What's his story? Is he dating/talking to someone else? Is he a bad guy; meaning; if your friend and her roommate, could be; both of them; happy together... Would that be a good thing or bad?
(Look at who they are now but also; who they were, when they got together...you know...5 kids ago)


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