How covid has made my anxiety level sore sky high

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useranonymous
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2020 1:11 pm

How covid has made my anxiety level sore sky high

Postby useranonymous » Thu May 06, 2021 9:57 am

I've always been very anxious but when I had my daughter 2 years ago I managed to keep good control of it by always going out to baby and toddler groups and making myself talk to other parents. But then the first lockdown happened and everytime theres been another one my anxiety has got worse. Have been living in a new house in a new area for a year and half and when we moved here there was no covid at all so things were normal. I was just getting to know it here and just started talking to people then lockdown happened and I feel like I hate living here now. I don't know anybody and with not being able to do the activities and outings I used to do I haven't had the same interaction and socialisation with other parents so now I'm anxious all the time, always feeling like I'm stupid and lonely and like I'm nothing special. Walking into a room full of people makes me panic now. I'm getting headaches everyday from this negative energy and when I go out walking it feels like everybody driving past and walking past are staring at me thinking that I look weird. I just feel quite upset lately. I just wanted to vent. At least a face mask covers up half my miserable face. I feel my opinions are stupid and don't matter. I don't like looking at my ugly face in the mirror despite people telling me I'm not ugly. I hate my hair, my clothes, sometimes it's difficult being a mother as it's difficult to go out and pretend that your fine and pretend your not freaking out in a playground full of parents in their friendly groups. I wasn't happy with my body do I've lost weight but still I hate how I look. I'm no fashion queen, I'm just a mum. I feel quite inadequate to other mums who are all dolled up for the morning school run and it makes me feel worse about myself. I've just got such a low opinion of myself. My husband works hard to provide so I don't take the piss with spending money. I spend like £10 in a charity shop on 2 tops or I have a spending spree of £30 at the most. So how comes when I occasionally doll myself up too for a school run (which when I do I think this is so stupid as I could of slept for longer) why do I still feel inadequate, worthless and completely ugly.

Tealeaves
Posts: 75
Joined: Wed May 05, 2021 3:54 am

Re: How covid has made my anxiety level sore sky high

Postby Tealeaves » Sun May 09, 2021 5:34 pm

Hello,
I'm not a doctor, but I like to help

I'm kind of a weird one; I've got my own ideas about things. So, this is only my opinion.

I believe, sometimes, not always; that our minds use depression, anxiety, etc.; as defense mechanisms.
The brain's job is too simplify things, to protect us, and to keep us alive.
When you were younger, did your being anxious, ever stop you from doing anything?

Unfortunately, without knowing your story, I have no clue as to why but; using my opinion/ideas; I may be able to help with the what, is happening.

For a minute, we'll pretend that you answered, yes.
Meaning; your brain knows your weakness.
Anxiety=You pause Bad anxiety= you stop

For this example, imagine a little person inside your head. Sometimes, you can talk and work together; and sometimes not.

For years, you were anxious, but mostly workable.

Then Covid hit.

Now take everything you know about covid; symptoms, how sick people get and how fatal it is.
Don't forget how easily it can spread...you know, cuz it's in the air; and air is everywhere.
That's what you think about covid.

Now Multiply that by 2

Remember the mini person in your head? That is what it thinks of covid.

I say that because, there are times our subconscious (or sometimes, a.k.a. mini person) remembers things; that we do not.
You watch covid news; you remember 2 things, mini remembers 4.

I don't know about you; but I have heard contradicting things. One minute, they are sure of things, the next minute...oops; now they are not sure. It leaves a person confused, and a little scared. Even now, they are claiming; things are getting under control. But what if tomorrow; it's oops! Now how confused and scared are you?
So is Mini.

Now, when you are confused; what do you do? Typically, most people pause; giving themselves, time to think and assess, the situation. If it's an obstacle to get around; then figure your next move; then unpause, and act.
What do you do when you are scared? Typically, most people pause. (You hear a gasp sometimes, especially when they are staring into the eyes of some creepy monster thing, that is trying to eat them. Then of course there are the idiots; the ones who run recklessly without thinking; straight into the slicing blades, of some killing machine...they are typically the ones, that just lost their virginity, in the room before)

Scared and or confused; typically we regroup, curl up in a ball, hide, go back home, go back to the roots; back to basics.
Remember me saying; our brain is supposed to protect us and keep us alive....well that is what it is doing. It's going back to basics; focusing on need. Not what you think that you need; what it thinks you need.

You mini
Want friends they could have covid
Shopping covid, on door handles
Kids play group kids, dripping with covid

Shall I go on...nah, I think you get it.

Again, you said you were mostly okay until covid hit. To protect you, your mind is using, what it knows; Your weakness; anxiety. It's also using your insecurities; like feeling inadequate, and your weight; because it; paused or stopped you before; might as well use them again. Plus the few new ones, it has picked up along the way.

It might also be why your upset about moving in the first place. I bet you had anxious feelings; about moving. And now a part of your brain is saying "ha, I told you we shouldn't have moved. We moved right into covidville. You stuck us in a house at; 19 Corona Court, Covidville, Contagious Land. Because in your mind; moving=covid

Okay, maybe that's a little overboard but; in your mind; life was safer and better; before the move.

But moving back isn't the answer. You said you were doing okay after the move. You were getting out, meeting people, making acquaintances; that with time; may have become friends, good friends.
Then covid hit...ugh
I feel so bad, like bad penny; that you can't get out of your shoe.
Anyway, I just scrolled up; I apologize, but I'm a bit of a talker. Can you believe, I actually held back lol

Oh, one more thing. You said you got dolled up, to drop off kids but; you didn't feel dolled up. Should have just stayed home in bed. Yeah that would be your mind, using an insecurity (a false one, btw, because people told you that you looked nice) to either keep you home, safe; or to make you regret going out. So next time, you'll stay home....safe from covid.

In closing,
Sure, there is more; ha there is always more with me but, for now; take it easy on yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Your anxiety is your mind's way of protecting you. Maybe, a bit more than necessary; kind of like an overprotective parent. Hey, maybe that is your mini person. It gives new meaning; to growing up and becoming your parents...not saying you're parents were over protective, or under; sorry I was just kidding. During these trying times; we have to keep our humour. Anyway, I've been typing this for hours; so I'll stop. Just remember, there are others out there like you; maybe even right around the corner. (Using rain as a code word) and the "rain" won't last forever.
Good luck!

champagnewaves
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2021 2:25 am

Re: How covid has made my anxiety level sore sky high

Postby champagnewaves » Sat Nov 13, 2021 3:49 am

I wonder why you feel ugly. What is it that you dont like about your looks? I dont know you but it breaks my heart to see you feel this way. 1. Your opinions, beliefs, heart, interests, emotions....ALL matter. Everyone deserves to be heard and listened to. 2. I cant imagine what its like to be a mom in the midst of covid and everything going on in our world. Being a mother is already tough anyway, but you get up and do it everyday and i know that makes you a beautiful soul. I feel the same with masks too. I frown underneath them. If people only could see us for how we really feel. 3. Im not sure what you consider a beauty queen, but i think women are going overboard these days with lip fillers, butt injections, pounds of makeup and plastic surgery. Yikes, its sad! I know i cant afford that stuff anyway, and with covid masks, no one sees my makeup. From vibes alone, i imagine you are beautiful, but dont realize just how much. As humans we often compare ourselves to other people. Write down what you like about yourself, and if there is somethimg that can be changed work on it, but also remember whats special and good about you, inner and outer beauty both. I know loving ourselves and all that is easier said than done, but my advice is to treat yourself like you would your own best friend. I may be just another person typing, but im on the sidelines cheering you on, rooting for your happiness. *hugs*


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