Hello, I am new here. I’ve never been included in a forum before and I’m hoping something like this will help me get through the week or just pass the time.
I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long while now, and I’ve found it hasn’t gotten better.
People always say that “things will heal with time”, so I believed that for so long, but if anything I just feel a lot worse :o(. I’ve gone to therapy and tried a few healthy coping strategies, but it just doesn’t help and I’m scared that it will be like this forever.
There are times where I do enjoy living my life, but then I just spiral back into feeling terrible once I think about or have to see my dad. He divorced my mum when I was young because he cheated on her. I hated him for that but still kept in touch with him since I didn’t get much of a choice and because “family is important”.
I don’t want to blame anything on him, but it’s pretty evident I feel like this because of him :o/.
Due to the spiralling, I’ve been cutting myself again. I had a good streak of about half a year of abstaining from it, but ever since he came back into my life since people thought it would be good for me, it’s started up again. I don’t like doing it and I promise I want to stop. If anyone has any tips, I’d really really like to know :,o).
I nearly killed myself last week, and hopefully that will be the last time I try. Maybe I’ll try therapy again. I don’t really want to though, because last time I had sessions I just felt embarrassed to be there and I had depressive episodes right after the sessions. Has anyone else encountered this problem??
*End of TW
If anyone else feels like this or wants to share something too, please feel free to do so :o).
Thank you for reading, ily <3.
Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.
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