A Little of my life

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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TheSun
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2021 10:10 pm

A Little of my life

Postby TheSun » Mon Mar 22, 2021 11:10 pm

I recently felt like entering this forum ...

I really don't know how to start writing, I even know if it would really help to do this but hey ...

I'm going to start with something short I feel a lot of "mixed" emotions.

There are days when I feel happy and want to change my way of being, but something bad always happens to me, either in the studio or at home (just in case I'm 15 years old).

There are days that I want to commit suicide in a damn time.

Other days I feel like killing animals and people.

The most important thing is that when I am alone in my house, I feel observed from anywhere, even from under my own bed.

I do not know if I had a trauma or was abused at some time but every time I am about to sleep I feel a great need to cover my intimate back, I am a man and I do not know if it is just to do but it has increased more and more. I feel that when I sleep they abuse me and I don't wake up.

Always, really always feel like they can control my mind, my actions and my thoughts, I can't stop thinking that.

Now something different, rather varied, interesting facts about me.
I have cut my arms about 3 or 4 times, the second time it
was deeper. What I think I seek is to harm myself as a method of self-satisfaction, something like spreading my anger against others.

I have cut my arms about 3 or 4 times, the second time it was deeper. What I think I seek is to harm myself as a method of self-satisfaction, something like spreading my anger against others.

My father, the first time I did it, spoke well to me if you could say it, but the last time he spoke badly to me, but rather worrying about his work and that if I did something to me and it ruined his life, he was going to ruin mine , I consider something very sad but good.

I stopped having contact with my mother since I blamed myself for cheating on my sister. From that point my fall to shit began. I tried to kill myself the first time with a 9mm from my father, without success. Interesting fact: My mother is or was a prostitute and used drugs or illegal substances.

I no longer like the word family, I even consider myself part of them, it is as if I were adopted, which I have been thinking for years but it is almost obvious that not ... As I said, I don't know what I feel, what I think, I'm still thinking about committing suicide but I haven't decided yet, I just have to wait for things to change ...

This was some cool stuff. I really enjoyed writing this and it makes me feel happy or satisfied. See you.

This was some cool stuff. I really enjoyed writing this and it makes me feel happy or satisfied. See you.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

Sequin
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2021 7:46 am

Re: A Little of my life

Postby Sequin » Tue Mar 23, 2021 8:37 am

I’m really really sorry that you have to go through this feeling :o(.

I’m glad there are others like me. I am also fifteen, and feel like family doesn’t really carry any value.

Have you considered therapy or healthy coping mechanisms? I understand It’d probably be difficult to start therapy sessions since we’re both so young, but maybe if one of your guardians knew that you wanted to start therapy you’d be able to do it. For some people, they think therapy doesn’t really work and I agree with them. But its good to at least try it and see if it helps you.

I hope you feel better in the future, and if you want to say anything else I’ll read it :o)).

Ily <3.


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