Crippling Social Anxiety

[KTR]

I have mad social anxiety. It's really hard for me to genuinely be engaged in conversations, enjoy time with people, and have fun hanging out with people anymore. Seems like when I talk to people, it's just a game of thinking what im gonna say next rather than naturally just talking to people. This social anxiety makes it hard to make friends. I move alot every few years cause I'm in the military and starting over with new people everytime is a nightmare. I feel like I lost my personality in the last year too. I moved and my anxiety has made it hard to keep up with my old friends, I've been in training for a year and a half and the stress made it nearly impossible to make friends, and I'm going through a divorce with the person I thought was my best friend for the past 5 years. I feel numb all the time. I haven't felt real happiness in almost 2 years. For me, my anxiety causes my depression. Dies anyone else have social anxiety to the point it causes depression? What have you done to make it better?

[ObliviousNerd]

Hi your post sounds familiar, I find socialising forced and awkward to the point I'd rather just not bother. I was cool with it my wife very much not apparently I was barely speaking to her, things had to change.
1) joined a gym got in better shape improved my self confidence
2) joined a fencing club, easier to talk to people if you know their interest and not forced if you have to partner up to do it
3) practice, make yourself talk to people even if it's 1 generic comment about weather, or telling someone there dogs cute. It really made be realise that people are generally nice and every positive response knocks a chip of my anxiety about, what people think of me

[ObliviousNerd]

Hi your post sounds familiar, I find socialising forced and awkward to the point I'd rather just not bother. I was cool with it my wife very much not apparently I was barely speaking to her, things had to change.
1) joined a gym got in better shape improved my self confidence
2) joined a fencing club, easier to talk to people if you know their interest and not forced if you have to partner up to do it
3) practice, make yourself talk to people even if it's 1 generic comment about weather, or telling someone there dogs cute. It really made be realise that people are generally nice and every positive response knocks a chip of my anxiety about, what people think of me

[mousemeowkin]

I know the feeling. I've felt the same way too growing up - not fitting in, not knowing what to say and thinking too hard about what to say and finding out that what comes out of my mouth wasn't "right" despite all the thought I'd put into it.

What I did and which didn't really help much in the long term was to isolate myself and develop an allergy to people and getting close to them. As you can probably tell, definitely not the best coping strategy.

It sounds like you're trying very hard to manage your social anxiety. I hope you find what works for you. Good luck.