Trigger warning- Self harm

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Sadinatura
Posts: 59
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:26 pm

Trigger warning- Self harm

Postby Sadinatura » Wed Feb 05, 2020 1:53 pm

I used to self-harm constantly about a year ago and sometimes I miss it and wish I could just go back to how I was even though I wasn't happy in life. But I've realized, because of how dangerous my cutting and other methods of self-harm was, I now have a fear of sharp things. You know those Keurig coffee makers? They have a needle to puncture the cup in there and, pardon my language, but it scares the living shit out of me. I used to take out the razors from pencil sharpeners and I can't look at one the same. I felt like I was having a seizure because I started shaking when I was at an art store and there was half an aisle of all kinds of pencil sharpeners and razors. I could hurt myself with anything I found. Pencils, pens, pencil sharpeners, compasses, erasers, needles, toothpicks and a lot more and I'm starting to be ashamed of it but also worried Ill be scared of everything. Please don't use any of these things I've mentioned to hurt yourself. I seriously regret my actions because it got me addicted. I no longer self-harm though, please stay safe.

cloud21
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Jan 28, 2020 3:05 pm

Re: Trigger warning- Self harm

Postby cloud21 » Wed Feb 05, 2020 10:37 pm

Hi,
I'm sorry about your fear. I started cutting when I was 13 years old and then stopped for a very long time and have had a couple of relapses. The past 4 months has been the worst self harm I've done to myself. It is addicting. And I even understand what you mean by wanting to be in that head space of wanting to do it. It makes sense that you'd want to go back, because it's a "safe" and "comfortable" coping mechanism for us. But, obviously not healthy. I'm glad you aren't indulging in self-harm currently. Just try to remember that even though you could harm yourself with all of those objects, you have proven to have the strength not to, you have proven that you have the strength. Those objects don't control you, you have control over them.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 415
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: Trigger warning- Self harm

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Wed Jun 03, 2020 1:19 pm

Sadinatura wrote:I used to self-harm constantly about a year ago and sometimes I miss it and wish I could just go back to how I was even though I wasn't happy in life. But I've realized, because of how dangerous my cutting and other methods of self-harm was, I now have a fear of sharp things. You know those Keurig coffee makers? They have a needle to puncture the cup in there and, pardon my language, but it scares the living shit out of me. I used to take out the razors from pencil sharpeners and I can't look at one the same. I felt like I was having a seizure because I started shaking when I was at an art store and there was half an aisle of all kinds of pencil sharpeners and razors. I could hurt myself with anything I found. Pencils, pens, pencil sharpeners, compasses, erasers, needles, toothpicks and a lot more and I'm starting to be ashamed of it but also worried Ill be scared of everything. Please don't use any of these things I've mentioned to hurt yourself. I seriously regret my actions because it got me addicted. I no longer self-harm though, please stay safe.

Its good to know this. That you are fearing what was a pleasure to you in the past. Its a sign of recovery. I dont think you should let it affect your life though. You will encounter something sharp almost everyday. Like a knife, a pen, a fork etc. Know that this is normal and eliminate to trauma. You are not going to hurt yourself again with a sharp object which is good. You also need to get used to sharp objects because as i said you will see it eventually and will have to confront it.


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