Just diagnosed, not sure if I need meds

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Just diagnosed, not sure if I need meds

Postby CrystalClear » Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:13 pm

Hi all, I just got diagnosed with depression this week, I almost have all symphtoms, but I'm still feeling that it may not be depression but a problem of attitud.

A little of my story
I was raised to a middle class family, we had difficulties as everybody, but never seen them as a struggle to live. I've been bullied, been rejected, been excluded, never by everybody, sometimes by people that meant something for me. I also see that as process of life, as no one is "a gold coin" (not everybody will like us).

When I was like 12 I had death toughts because I felt like I was trash and I was destroying everybodys lifes with my only existence, never told my mom or anybody else nor did I know I had depression. Do not ask me how I overcame that (or if I really did) as I never went to a psicologist. I'm 34 now, and I have a normal life, married, with a 3yo kid, all normal struggles.

6 years ago my husband lost his job of 9 years in a good company with good pay, 2 months later I lost mine, we both applied for several jobs, he went to interviews but was not selected, I got a job after 1.5 months, great company, good income, I was not 100% qualified for the job, but they picked me, and I wanted to work on that company so much I didn't hesitate. It was great, I surprised myself handling the job (not gracefully, but accomplishing what whas needed), all was good until I sarted feeling the burden of being the main and only job income doing something I would never excell simply because I don't have the kind of intelligence needed for this kind of job, it is always like I do the minimum required and company does not value that kind of performance, I've been stuck on the same job for 6 years, I need to change job but the income I have is not easly offered and can't afford to earn less, worst thing is I can only move to positions alike the actual, and I know there are people more capable of doing my job, so will not get a job on my expertice area, nor in other area bacause I have no other expertice. Additionaly, in this same job I had two pepole in charge, but they just got rid of te positions, so instead of growing I'm shrinking, been changed of boss like 4 times in a year, last-longer boss was a bitch that evaluated me very badly so there is no chance of growing up.
So now I'm stuck in a job I hate, with no views to growing, my kid with eating problems that I feel if I was there wouldn't exist, no posibilities on quitting the job because husband is taking too long on "growing his business". And I feel like a total failure because husband was an excelent student and I blame myself for his unsuccesfull profesional career, like its because of me that he got fired.

Psiquiatrist gave me meds for depression, but I don't want to take them as I know there is no going back to be yourself, and the fact that creates addiction makes me think I dont really need that kind of help, and that my problem might be my attitude and I that I need to activate myself and do other hobbies than just netflix.

Could it simply be routine that has me like this, and not depression? All my life I told myself and loved ones that routine is my killer, and here I am stuck and comfortable in this lazy-selfpitty routine.

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Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: Just diagnosed, not sure if I need meds

Postby Spleefy » Fri Nov 15, 2019 6:22 am

Hi CrystalClear,

It might be an idea to see another health professional, as sometimes it’s good to get a second or even third opinion.

It sounds like you’ve been under considerable, prolonged stress. This can wear us down and even induce depressive symptoms.

Is your current employer a decent person? Is it possible to speak to your employer about this issue? Perhaps they can help you to reach your full potential in the company.

Can you do courses, read books, seminars, or training to raise your skills for a higher position in the company?

Is your husband able/willing to get a job in another area, such as cleaning toilets, mowing lawns, or waiting tables. I'm not sure if it will be ideal for him, but it is honest work and will bring in some money, at least in the interim until his business takes off.

What about lifestyle changes. Is there room for a more affordable lifestyle so you won’t need as much money to take care of basic needs?

Nobody here can say whether or not you have depression.

Based on what you wrote, it seems like most your issues is based around work and money. Maybe go with your gut feeling and first find a way to fix this issue and see how you feel afterwards when these things in your life have improved.

Maybe try some hobbies other than Netflix. At worst nothing will happen, at best it may add value to your life.

I'm sure you'll find a way through this rut in your life.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

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