Depression Understood Forums

When I was 15 I lost my virginity and became super lonely and abused it. I started having sex with older men and started seeing this one particular one after school.

He was fairly young and told me he loved me and I was his girlfriend. He raped me. I feel like I couldn't leave because I didn't wanna be alone and I had nobody so I let him keep doing it

I also started seeing other men to cope, who introduced me to drugs, drinking, etc. It became almost an everyday occurrence. At one point I had to piss in my own vomit and eat it to satisfy a guy.

I had tried to change schools and have a new start. My parents deemed my unusual behavior as just a phase and told me just to make friends. I felt like I failed ultimately and had nobody on my side.

Currently I'm 16 and a sophomore. I'm trying to find any possible way to graduate early and leave this place. I have thought about just dropping out completely and getting a GED. I still drink, smoke, etc and I am so lost.

you need to go seek help and told your parents about this as really your life will be in danger when years goes by . please do tell someone close to and be your own boss

Hi Zoeyz93,

Try to make better choices and associations and things will look up. We humans have the bizarre addiction to self-destructive coping mechanisms. The key to a happier life is to remove those behaviors and replace them with healthier ones. The last thing we need in our lives is to compound our problems with poor choices and self-destructive behavior.

I’m no expert, but your behavior is definitely not a phase or typical teenage behavior. Intervention is a must. Can you talk to your parents again? Explain to them that your behavior, especially for a teenager, is completely unacceptable and you need urgent help and intervention.

What about talking to a school counselor? Surely there is someone who agrees what you are doing is not okay. You need help, and fast.

It never ceases to amaze me how parents don’t keep a closer eye on their teenagers. I’m dumbfounded that they called it a phase and won’t intervene immediately, even to protect you from yourself.

I don’t know what to say except, I really hope you can pull yourself through this.

Keep strong. Just keep reaching out, but not to bad associations like those terrible men who took advantage of you and encourage you to do unthinkable acts.

So sorry! You do not deserve what happened to you. You are a teenager, and no one has the right to take advantage of you.

Reaching out here is a sign that you want to change the pattern. That is wonderful! Have you sought help in other ways? Your guidance counselor? Youth leader? Family friend who is trustworthy? There is HOPE! Have you ever heard of YOUNG LIFE? My children participated in this organization in high school and it was life changing for them. You might want to check it out.

You are in the right place. Please keep posting and seeking wisdom and help! Praying for you!

Have you shared all of this with your parents? If it's hard to tell them everything maybe you could show them your post or a copy of it.
I sincerely hope that you will reach out to qualified help and that you will consider reporting the crimes of rape. Try not to let it define you and start trying to make more healthy choices in your life.

Zoeyz93 wrote:When I was 15 I lost my virginity and became super lonely and abused it. I started having sex with older men and started seeing this one particular one after school.

He was fairly young and told me he loved me and I was his girlfriend. He raped me. I feel like I couldn't leave because I didn't wanna be alone and I had nobody so I let him keep doing it

I also started seeing other men to cope, who introduced me to drugs, drinking, etc. It became almost an everyday occurrence. At one point I had to piss in my own vomit and eat it to satisfy a guy.

I had tried to change schools and have a new start. My parents deemed my unusual behavior as just a phase and told me just to make friends. I felt like I failed ultimately and had nobody on my side.

Currently I'm 16 and a sophomore. I'm trying to find any possible way to graduate early and leave this place. I have thought about just dropping out completely and getting a GED. I still drink, smoke, etc and I am so lost.

Sorry to hear that you were abused alot. I think you should take control of your life. It sounds harsh but you need to forgive your abusers and move on in a positive way (thinking differently). I ask you to inform authorities (Police) about the rape because that guy should not get away with it. The "vomit and pee guy" on the other hand you will have to let that go. It seems that you are not completely addicted but you are trying to cope with traumatic situations by doing damage to your system through the drinking and smoking, etc. Do not let past experiences affect your life, but deal with them accordingly in some cases.