Depression Understood Forums

I'm getting more depressed. My favorite depression songs are back. Hi depression, I've missed you.
Depression: How've you been? Have you missed me?
Me: Yes... but...
Depression: And how are you?
Me: Terrible...
I'm sinking into the sand but it is warm sand, that makes me feel better and welcome it back.
I'm sick with depression, my brows forever furrowed. How poetic is this depression? Depression tastes like metal, depression smells like dust, depression feels like a piece of watercolor paper, depression feels like I'm drowning and no one notices.
I love it when my friends smile, I'll sit in the back seat and watch them smile from ear to ear and sing to a song, it makes me feel like an audience watching someone I know to be happy. With me smiling faintly but still feeling the hiding depression behind for when her smile goes away and the song changes. I look for happiness on faces, it makes me feel nice, not jealous but I like watching people be happy and to be creating memories. I take it in and try to remember a memory forever.

I recognize that relationship with one's self and their depression. I remember how becoming more depressed seemed to feel better than not. Depression was, in a perspective of self manner of speaking, a dependable friend that allows me to simplify my day. Like the sun rising and setting each day, I expect depression will come. Recently I've been practicing self-analytical methods to tolerate depression pains. Similar to feeling the pain of holding your breath, but knowing the "pain" of depression does not kill, it just makes people think about dying. I figure if I can improve pain tolerance, I can endure more depression with fewer daily limitations.

Thank you, derkderk. Interesting perspective.