Sharing my story
Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:07 pm
So...my story goes like this. Grew up in a nice, middle-class family in a working class area of New Jersey. I was the middle child of three, and the oldest female. My father and I had a special relationship - not only was there love between us, but we genuinely liked each other as people. Then...disaster struck. My father's behavior began to alter dramatically, and he became emotionally abusive towards me in particular. I found out...three years later, that he had gone away to rehab. He's been mostly sober since then, with falls off and on, but I've grown enough to understand it more, I think.
I do believe this episode of my childhood set me up for my current and past issues. When I was 22, I had a full-on nervous breakdown. I couldn't eat, sleep or work, and all I did was cry. I ended up with pretty serious clinical depression, which stemmed largely from an intense health anxiety.
I was able to climb out of the depression, but had to steer clear of certain medical information - still do, actually. For a while, my anxiety was on the back burner...but, of course, a little less than a year ago, it came back.
I've been on Paxil for about six months and it's worked wonders for me. I currently have health anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder. I have not been hit with depression again since my sink ten years ago, but I do feel that anxiety will be with me forever. I'm learning to accept this and find ways to live with it. I've gotten rid of the toxic people in my life, and try desperately to stay positive. The chat room attached to these forums saved my life when the anxiety came back full force, and I really have been enjoying the forums as well.
I have to thank everyone who has been there for me here, and I do hope to give back to everyone as well. I wish more people would use the forums, as with my busy work schedule it's not always easy to enter the chat. Thank you all... and my apologies if this was waaaay too long!
I do believe this episode of my childhood set me up for my current and past issues. When I was 22, I had a full-on nervous breakdown. I couldn't eat, sleep or work, and all I did was cry. I ended up with pretty serious clinical depression, which stemmed largely from an intense health anxiety.
I was able to climb out of the depression, but had to steer clear of certain medical information - still do, actually. For a while, my anxiety was on the back burner...but, of course, a little less than a year ago, it came back.
I've been on Paxil for about six months and it's worked wonders for me. I currently have health anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder. I have not been hit with depression again since my sink ten years ago, but I do feel that anxiety will be with me forever. I'm learning to accept this and find ways to live with it. I've gotten rid of the toxic people in my life, and try desperately to stay positive. The chat room attached to these forums saved my life when the anxiety came back full force, and I really have been enjoying the forums as well.
I have to thank everyone who has been there for me here, and I do hope to give back to everyone as well. I wish more people would use the forums, as with my busy work schedule it's not always easy to enter the chat. Thank you all... and my apologies if this was waaaay too long!
