Depression Understood Forums

Hi- I am new to this site so I’m sorry if my post seems frivolous compared to some of the other topics discussed here. I’m still an underclassman in highschool and I can’t tell if my problems are “teenage hormones” like my friend says they are (she’s the only person I’ve talked to about this because she went through something as well).
I just feel like my mind is fogged up a lot and I don’t want to do anything, while at the same time feeling guilty for not being productive. I can’t talk to anyone and every social meeting makes me nervous and has me wishing I didn’t have to go even if it’s with a close friend. I’m not sure how to describe it. It’s like a constant reminder that I’m useless and a silent weight beating down on my skull.
I know I have no right to feel like this because I have good friends, a good family, and I do well in school. Sometimes I think I’m just dramatic and attention seeking. Let me know if it seems like that because I’d love to know if I’m just overreacting.
Sometimes I wish I could disappear with no consequences- just forget about the rest of my future and fade away. When I grow up I probably won’t even last a second on my own. I don’t deserve the life I was given, and I kinda wish someone else had it so that my family and friends had someone better than me. I’d never actually do it though, that would hurt them too much. And I know I’m too much of a coward to go through with it...
You know that voice some people say they hear in their mind that keeps throwing awful words at them? I found that the voice in my head is distinctly my own, so I’m not sure what that says about me. At any random time, it’ll just pop in my head as a reminder that I can’t do anything, I shouldn’t even be talking to this person, I shouldn’t even be writing this post because people have better things to do. I swear this has just turned into me venting.

Hi! Remember that you are important and loved. You may be different and so are others, but you have it in you to make a good difference. You need to love yourself by accepting yourself and appreciating and using your strengths.

We may overthink too much, and pausing or resting and relaxing will be good for us.

You need to be happy once again. What are the things that make you happy? So long as they won't do you harm do them. Activities like listening to good music, watching good or funny films, food tripping, doing hobbies, helping others, playing and many others may be good to you.

Believe and have hope that things will get better for you. And do not forget to enjoy life.

Hi Moonlight. Thanks for posting. This forum is here to support you. You are important and your thoughts are important. Everyone who post have real experiences and feel free to post whenever you feel you need support. I think many of us have had the experience of negative thoughts popping into our heads. I know I have. When I hear the negative thoughts, it's my voice that I hear. When this happens I have to counteract the negative thought with a positive thought. So for example, if I hear you are dumb, I said out loud, I am smart so that I can hear myself say it. If you feel down and sad and no energy, maybe consider talking to your parents or a counselor or social worker at school. Sometimes it is just reaching a certain age when there are so many changes happening and it's hard to manage everything. Consider talking to your parents or a counselor. A counselor may be able to help you manage all of the feelings and emotions you are experiencing. Wishing you the best.

Hi Moonlight,
I've been there, I wanted to disappear with every trace of my existence. I still do sometimes, so I know what you're talking about.

Attention seeking isn't such an awful thing that people make it sound. People want attention because they need one. How would they get help other wise. If you come down with a terrible flu, you go to a doctor for help. I guess you seek attention, right.

So why would it be any different if you hurt inside, even if there's nothing to show on the outside. The pain is real and you're most definitely NOT overreacting.
What you experience are very common symptoms of depression. It may be 'teenage hormones' that causes it, and it may fade away in time, but what you feel is now and it's real, don't let anyone diminish it.

You did good for posting about it. This forum is about support, you don't have to deserve it with a serious problem or a real reason, whatever that is.
That annoying voice you hear in your head time to time, is not yours. It's a lying bastard called depression, trying to convinse you that you're worthless.

It's bullshit, you deserve to be in this world, to be happy, to have friends and family who love you, exactly for who you are. And I'm sure they do.
If you feel it's too much to handle, please talk with someone you trust to get some help or guidance, before it gets worse.
And keep posting, about anything, it can be kind of therapeutic.
Take care

It is important to make sure that you have a good support system. Do you have an adult that you trust that you can talk to about this? Maybe a parent, teacher, or counselor at school? They may be able to get you in to see a physician or a counselor if needed too. Hope that helps.

Hi, I know it's been quite a while since I posted this but I want to thank you guys for your kind words and support. I don't know if I want to tell someone else just yet but I will probably keep posting on this forum here and there.

Thanks,
moonlight