Depression Understood Forums

I've been very depressed due to social isolation. It's beginning to take a toll for the worst. From the outside I'm a happy upbeat friendly person, but in reality I've been severely isolated almost my entire life because I lack any meaningful human connection. I work everyday starting early in the mornings at a fast food resturant, I'm in charge of all the major cleaning of the lobby as well as making sure our guests are accommodated while they're there. And I do an excellent job. The proof is in the constant stream of compliments the costumers give to me and the managers. I've tried reaching out socially but I seem to have a heck of a time actually getting to hang out with anyone. Is it terrible luck? Or is it something I'm doing wrong on a personal level? My job and sometimes my partner are the only things that keep me here. I seem extroverted in demeanor but on a personal level in rather reclusive. I don't always reach out to everyone especially if I feel like I wouldn't find someone agreeable to my personal tastes. Most people I encounter socially seem to be incapable of holding a conversation beyond small talk or other formalities, or are otherwise superficial and shallow. I want friends. People who accept and understand how I am. I personally don't feel like it's a life worth living if I have to be alone. Yes my lack of selfsufficency is abbismal. I hate being alone without people to connect with and talk to.

Hey there. First of all, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you were able to experience some kind of relief in verbalizing these challenges. I want to start by saying finding relationships of depth and meaning is a journey we all experience. Many times, it takes several [not great] relationships before you find a gem, you know? From my own experiences, I would encourage you to keep reaching out; keep taking those risks of vulnerability because there is someone near by that feels exactly the same. Like you, that person is also tired of the surface level shenanigans. Many people think I'm an extrovert as well, but in reality, I need alone time to re-charge. I also prefer self-sufficiency! However, we are hard-wired to desire solid relationships--we are most certainly not meant to do life alone and like you've mentioned, this isolation can hurt us deeply. What you're going through can happen to many of us, so take heart knowing there is also a way out of it! What does your schedule look like? Are there places outside of work you can get plugged into (sports leagues, special interest groups, volunteering opportunities, etc.)? These are great avenues to explore-- they can increase the chances for more meaningful friendships. I'm praying you find genuine people in the most unexpected places. Praying for joy in the process and a strong sense of perseverance as you navigate these tough waters!