What Is Wrong With Me

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, cj-, Moderators

Dprssdkd
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:04 pm

What Is Wrong With Me

Postby Dprssdkd » Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:27 pm

Hey,
I'm a 14 y.o high school student and I think I might be depressed. I'm feeling alone. I don't have a lot of friends, and the few I have don't really care about me. My family is nice, but all they do is yell at me, especially my mother. Everytime we're having a fight, it's always my fault. I just feel like I have no importance in this world. I just feel so sad when I realize that nobody thinks about me first, that I'm just second, third or maybe fourth option. I also don't really like myself. So there's pretty much nobody in here who loves me. I need people that love me. I actually dream about how better my life could be surrounded with the right persons, living life, going on adventures. But my life is just boring and sad. All I do is study, eat, sleep, and watch youtube videos. That's all my life is about. I'm trying to change, cause I really want to. I wanted to go see a therapist, but when I told my mother,she didn't understood the matter and took it as a joke. Since she doesn't know what I am dealing with, she probably thinks that it would only be a waste of money. I also hate talking about my feelings. Nobody knows about this. It just felt like to much for me to handle so that's the reason why I'm writing in here. Only to let things out of my mind for a minute. And also hoping that people would actually respond and help me through my depression I guess?

MLE1985
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:35 pm

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby MLE1985 » Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:06 pm

Oh Honey!!
I've been where you are and have been where you are, over and over and over!!! I'm so, so, sorry you are going through this! I am older now, but have been through being a 14 year old high school student and having no one care about me or understand what I was going through! It is the most depressing and isolating experience. I'm sorry you, like me, have to endure this horrible experience. I can't tell you what will make it better, I can't tell you when you will be magically cured, or what your future will hold. However, I can only tell you to please keep fighting and asking for help. Act out, cry out, PLEAD for help when you need it!! I have long periods of time when I am happy and perfectly ok in my life. However, when I'm going through a rough spell, depression, anxiety, etc., I'm not OK. I need help! No matter how hard it seems, keep asking for help! Everywhere and anywhere you can. People will help you! You just have to be persistant, which can be hard when your're anxious and depressed.

MLE1985
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:35 pm

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby MLE1985 » Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:08 pm

P.S.
I am 32 years old and have been dealing with the feelings you have since I've been at least 12 years old. If I can manage, you can manage. Scars and all!

Spleefy
Posts: 241
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby Spleefy » Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:59 am

Hi Dprssdkd,

Being a teenager is never easy and there are a lot of struggles on many levels.

What makes being a teenager even harder is that you have limited control of the decisions you can make in your own life.

As teenagers, we also depend more on the support and nurture from other people, especially our parents.

It is also frustrating when you want to do something about your life to improve it, but don't get the same level of enthusiasm or the support you need from your family to make these changes.

It’s understandable why you would think your mum or family don’t care. But I’m sure they do! Perhaps you just need to try again. Maybe you could try to sit your mum down. Tell her that you need to talk to her about something that it is important to you and you need her to listen.

Another approach that could be useful is to ask another adult family member to talk to your mum on your behalf. Sometimes adults will be more receptive to what other adults say.

I can tell you want more out of your life and that’s really good to hear. You can identify some of the things that you are unhappy with in your life and you want to change this. Many people, including some adults, are not even willing to admit there is something wrong in their life and take the steps to improve it. But you are!

I know you want people to love you, to care about you, and to put your first. We all want this and it’s perfectly normal. And this is even more critical when we are growing up because it determines how emotionally grounded or stable we become as adults.

I know right now you feel like you are not getting the nurture that you need. You also said that you don’t really like yourself.

Perhaps you could use this to begin taking the time to work on the relationship you have with yourself? In other words, learn to love you, like you, and accept you. Give yourself the nurture, care, and love that you want from other people.

And you don’t have to do this alone. There is always someone out there who WILL care about you and listen to you. I think this forum might be a good place to start. You are reaching out for support and talking about your feelings, even though you hate to do this.

You will get through this. Just keep reaching out and keep trying. Hold on to those dreams that you have about being surrounded by the right people in your life and going on many fun-filled adventures. You will have these things and more. What is happening in your life today doesn't mean it will be your future.

Spleefy
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

littlestarsmum
Posts: 93
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby littlestarsmum » Tue Sep 19, 2017 11:30 pm

I’m so sorry to hear that, friend. Wish I could give you a hug. Depression is a very complex issue that deserves personal and in-depth attention. I know how difficult it must be for you to go through this. Please know that you’re not alone. Have you tried talking to a counselor at your school? I’d suggest that you let a trusted adult or relative or teacher know what you’re going through. Look for things to do to keep your mind off of your depressive feelings. Maybe you could pursue an activity, sport, or hobby that you enjoy and that makes you feel good. Physical exercise has the added benefit of helping to relieve negative emotions naturally. Remember that you deserve to feel better. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort and provide the help you need at this time. You can always come here to share, and we’re all here to support you. Take good care of yourself. Sending hugs & prayers to you!

Beingloveforall
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2017 1:31 pm

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby Beingloveforall » Thu Sep 21, 2017 2:02 pm

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I felt very similarly when I was 14. I battled drepression for most of my life. As I got older I tried everything to try and cope. I tried exercising, Becoming vegan and meditating.

The depression eventually starting causing physical symptoms such as memory loss and severe migraine headaches. I eventually went to a neurologist when I was 42 and was clinically diagnosed with extreme depression. Although the migraine medication I was prescribed stopped the headaches, I was perpetually stuck in either being in the darkness or being afraid of it returning.

Until one day I went to meditate and something profound happened to me. This incredible meditation just came to me. Within five minutes I walked out of the room, went over to my wife who was in the kitchen and told her "something just happened to me."

From that day on my life has never been the same.
After doing the meditation for a few weeks, my depression was completely gone and in its place came a new understanding of who I am, why I'm here and why I even went through the depression to begin with.

Here is the meditation....

https://youtu.be/dTJ1DH_TNWI

I hope you will try it and see if it helps you as much as it has helped me. I recommend doing for at least for two weeks. You should begin noticing a certain calm and peace.

We are all made out of pure love and light. Our human minds just block that knowing. If you can simply stop your mind from feeding you thoughts (anxiety, worry, regret, etc) you can be your true light and love essence. We are FEELING BEINGS NOT THINKING BEINGS. Stopping the mind's incessant thinking (which is what this meditation does) will allow you to FEEL all of the infinite amount of love in you and around you.

Peace, Love and infinite Light!

lovingladyo4
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 9:06 am

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby lovingladyo4 » Fri Sep 22, 2017 2:57 pm

There is nothing wrong with you friend, it's just that your surroundings are making you feel that way. Your true worth cannot be measured by what people think and what they say. Yes, words do have a huge impact on our lives and have the power to destroy, but they do not have the power to decide and finalize who you really are.

I am so sorry you are not finding more assurance from your family. I know of many teenagers who went through some pretty lonely times, desperate to find their worth and place of belonging. Some were even my own children. It was so hard watching them navigate through the myriad of emotions that came during those years.

I think what might be helpful to remember is that many others your age are going through the same things, but have a different way of masking their emotions. Young people this age are in a transition time of life, and things around them are constanly changing. Have you considered talking to a guidance counselor at your school for some advice? I feel it's important for you to have a "go-to" person in your life - someone you can lean on who recognizes what you are going through. Another thought I'm having here is a church youth group pastor. He would be a safe person to confide in. He may even invite you to join their youth group, where many kids your age meet regularly and get involved in a variety of activities. Much of your security will depend on feeling connected to someone. It's worth looking into.

I'm hoping it won't take much more effort on your part to get the message through to your mom that you need help. You need her guidance and support at this vulnerable time in your life. I have always had good luck writing letters to people when it comes to fragile topics like this. I think writing a letter lets you think through your words and you have a chance to go back and make sure you've included everything. Tell your mom in no uncertain terms that you are reaching out for help and is she willing to listen to you. You may need to be a little persistant to get the point across. Don't give up though, there could be a communction breakdown and this might serve as a catalyst to see some changes.

Pray and ask God to direct you. He is on your side and loves you more than you might be able to comprehend right now. I promise I will be praying for you too.

gjetson33
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2017 8:20 pm

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby gjetson33 » Sun Sep 24, 2017 8:59 am

I am sorry that you are going through this. I am glad that you are here expressing yourself and reaching out for help. There is nothing wrong with you, please believe that. I know that you said you feel like your mom is not receptive. Is there any other family members that could help to get you in therapy? Or just someone to talk to you and your mom? Do you have a church that you could go to and speak to someone? There are resources out there for you. You can be helped. I pray God sends someone your way that will take the time to help through this tough time. You will get better I just believe that for you! Keep fighting!!

Dprssdkd
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:04 pm

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby Dprssdkd » Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:12 pm

Thank you all so much for your answers. Even though these are only virtual answers, you should know that reading them made me feel 100x better. Thank you for caring, thank you for supporting me. I didn't speak to my mom, Just because I can't. I'm not brave enough to let my feelings out and facing my mom all at once. I sometimes try to reach out for my sisters' help, I'm actually sending them "signals", letting them know that I'm not feeling alright. I don't think they got my message. I tried to feel better by practicing sports: but now I just hate all the sports that I used to love, cause they remind me of how happy I was. I made new friends since my post, who seem like good people and make me feel better. I also just wanted to let you know that you made me feel better by wasting your time on my case and giving me some importance. You really are helping through this difficult period of my life, and I really appreciate that. Thank you so much.

Spleefy
Posts: 241
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: What Is Wrong With Me

Postby Spleefy » Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:06 am

Hi Dprssdkd,

This is an old post, wow! I remember your situation, though.

I thought I would just check on you to see how things are going in your life.

Did the dynamics in your family situation change? Was there an improvement in the lines of communication with your mom?

I hope things are looking up for you. Like I said before, don’t ever give up on your dream of being surrounded by the right people and going on many, memorable adventures. You will be able to do all these things and more.

You have your whole life ahead of you. And life is better because it has you in it!

You are never a waste of time because you ARE important. You are important and you are loved.

I’m glad all the comments could help you through a difficult period in your life. I sincerely hope that things in your life have improved.

Take care, mate.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18


Return to “Your Story”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests