Depression Understood Forums

So horribly embarrassing. But I think I kinda understand what's going on. Okay, I come from an abusive family, crazies, drunk, psychos, and I was the weakling that just got destroyed. I was able to move out and work and get my own place. But I was falling apart on jobs and gave up my apartment to move into a house my mom owned. I was doing ok, like, depressed but the house was peaceful. But then my family fell really apart and I had to give the house to my brother. I moved in with mom and it's been like a death spiral. I've been a cutter, OCD, agoraphobic, depression, and these symptoms go mad wild when I'm near or around my family. I'm out of work. I'm on disability. And mom just got sick and now I'm taking care of her and raising my brother's child, who moved in with us (he's cool tho, great kid). But mom being sick and suddenly I'm caring for her sent me seeking something to calm me--and boom I got obsessed with someone. Course I haven't met him , it's one of those mind numbing super crazy things I would do to COPE. And now I can't stop thinking about him. So, I called a psychologist because flip if this is what sends me completely over the edge. This is my story. How about you?

Hi Grace...

Sounds like you've had a real rough time. It's hard sometimes to deal with stuff... the best way is to work out things you want... like really want. And then try to make decisions that make them happen. Like creating new ways of doing things. That said it's easier said than done...x

Cannybluff wrote:Hi Grace...

Sounds like you've had a real rough time. It's hard sometimes to deal with stuff... the best way is to work out things you want... like really want. And then try to make decisions that make them happen. Like creating new ways of doing things. That said it's easier said than done...x

Hi Cannybluff,
So nice of you to respond but not sure if you'll get this because I'm not navigating well on this site. Anyway, I hope you do get this because I thank you for responding. And you're right, work out things I really want. I'm trying. Creating new ways of doing things. I'll really need help with that That's why I'm off to see a psychologist. It is easier said than done but I'll believe it's not completely impossible.

It certainly isn't. it's actually really difficult. Its just so important when you feel like any choice you make to try and decide how it impacts on that goal. I wish I could follow my own advice. I'm not great on here either getting around. I like to chat and to listen. Sorry you're finding things tough..

Cannybluff wrote:It certainly isn't. it's actually really difficult. Its just so important when you feel like any choice you make to try and decide how it impacts on that goal. I wish I could follow my own advice. I'm not great on here either getting around. I like to chat and to listen. Sorry you're finding things tough..

Hi Cannybluff,
Well if you're responding and you are that means I did post correctly, YAY! I would like to chat but that chat room can be miserable when people log in just to harass others. I hope your Sunday is going well. I hope your weekend was nice. Thanks for posting. Nice to know I'm not invisible.. Wait I forgot to ask you how are you? Ugh where are my manners? How are you??

Hi, yeah I'm ok. It all just goes a bit up n down. But I'm working hard so keeps me busy and helps by distraction. Never been on the chat room... I'm not doing well with this forum... I only spoke to you but despite checking it I've only just seen your reply.

Can you email? [email protected]...

Cannybluff wrote:Hi, yeah I'm ok. It all just goes a bit up n down. But I'm working hard so keeps me busy and helps by distraction. Never been on the chat room... I'm not doing well with this forum... I only spoke to you but despite checking it I've only just seen your reply.

Can you email? [email protected]...

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Hi Cannybluff,
Honey be careful with your email address, okay? If we chat more on here I don't mind one day communicating via email but this world is completely, well in my opinion kinda off so keep your private email private. I hope you receive this message, in fact I'll try the private email on here or send a private message--we can surely chat this way on here. It would be nice to have a normal convo or chat on here. I hope you get this message, or the ones I'll try to send to you on here. --Grace

Hi... sorry... I got a bit confused. A message came to my email... I replied but just realised it was actually to the forum address... Yeah that's cool. Keep it here. I didn't understand the PM system though... Haha... bad technical skills x

Cannybluff wrote:Hi... sorry... I got a bit confused. A message came to my email... I replied but just realised it was actually to the forum address... Yeah that's cool. Keep it here. I didn't understand the PM system though... Haha... bad technical skills x

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Hi Cannybluff,

Please get to know the system on here, so I won't miss any of your messages. Okay? I wasn't sure, well I don't think you got my notification but up ahead at the very top--it says Notifications and Private Messages. I think I sent you one. Then if you respond, when I log on it'll say 1 or 2 or so notifications or private messages. I even added you as a friend on here, so it's easier for me to communicate. But don't worry if you can't or don't understand this site yet. I've spent some years working using computers so I can pretty much can figure some stuff out, it's still hard though. How ARE YOU? It's so nice to hear from you. You've been so nice, so I hope you're okay. I hope Sunday is treating you well. I hope you have an awesome Sunday. You take care of yourself, okay? Talk soon

Your story in inspirational. In a regular world, all of that should happen to nobody. Nobody at all. But it happened to you. And you tell your story. Are you even close to being aware of how brave and amazing that is?