Confused
Posted: Fri May 12, 2017 4:24 pm
Hello.
I´m really new to this and English is not my first language so I may use the wrong word or spell a word wrong but I hope you will understand anyway.
My problems started a few years ago. My grandmother passed away, I had to switch school because my old one was burned to the ground and a lot of other stuff happend. I was bullied through most of my school years and that really effected me. I have had a really bad confidence pretty much my whole life so nothing went my way so to speak. Anyway after my grandmother passed I really started to sink, I was alone most of the time, I didn´t have many friends and I was very closed of from everyone. A few years later I moved to a new town and it was there I crashed. I started having anxity and panic attacs, most of them ended whith me hurting myself whith a scissor. Nothing Deep they were all shallow wounds that didn´t bleed, they just left a mark that hurt, similar to a papercut.
At this time I took contact with the psychologist and started getting help. I got medicin and it worked and for quite some time I was feeling better. How ever recently my life took a turn for the worse. I got my first boyfriend a little more then a year ago and after being together for almost 8 months he broke up with me and I had a really hard time with other things as well. The breakup was really hard on me and after that I started falling again and I was falling fast. I started hurting myself again, something I hadn´t done i years, and I escalated it. I started using a hobby knife. The cuts were still not very Deep but they always started to bleed and all of them have left scars.
I know that selfharm isn´t the solution to my problems but in the moment I can´t stop myself. I don´t know why I feel the need to hurt myself and that scares me. I don´t want to be like this and I´m trying to change but right now it´s not working.
I really don´t know what to do. Can someone help me??
I´m really new to this and English is not my first language so I may use the wrong word or spell a word wrong but I hope you will understand anyway.
My problems started a few years ago. My grandmother passed away, I had to switch school because my old one was burned to the ground and a lot of other stuff happend. I was bullied through most of my school years and that really effected me. I have had a really bad confidence pretty much my whole life so nothing went my way so to speak. Anyway after my grandmother passed I really started to sink, I was alone most of the time, I didn´t have many friends and I was very closed of from everyone. A few years later I moved to a new town and it was there I crashed. I started having anxity and panic attacs, most of them ended whith me hurting myself whith a scissor. Nothing Deep they were all shallow wounds that didn´t bleed, they just left a mark that hurt, similar to a papercut.
At this time I took contact with the psychologist and started getting help. I got medicin and it worked and for quite some time I was feeling better. How ever recently my life took a turn for the worse. I got my first boyfriend a little more then a year ago and after being together for almost 8 months he broke up with me and I had a really hard time with other things as well. The breakup was really hard on me and after that I started falling again and I was falling fast. I started hurting myself again, something I hadn´t done i years, and I escalated it. I started using a hobby knife. The cuts were still not very Deep but they always started to bleed and all of them have left scars.
I know that selfharm isn´t the solution to my problems but in the moment I can´t stop myself. I don´t know why I feel the need to hurt myself and that scares me. I don´t want to be like this and I´m trying to change but right now it´s not working.
I really don´t know what to do. Can someone help me??