Feeling hopeless

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Feeling hopeless

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Tue May 02, 2017 2:47 am

I don't know what to feel right now. I'm just so fed up with life and how it's been treating me. Everyday is an emotional one.

Started new job and it's already stressing me out. I have to put on a fake smile and face everytime I serve someone. I just get really annoyed cuz that's not who I am. I'm always getting feedback with my performance and it's just making me feel even more hopefulness with everything.

Outside of work I got problems in myself I..e depression and anxiety. I usually keep myself to myself which I've always done but when I feel really down and wanna talk to someone they are never there to talk to. Again feel more hopefulness. I tried telling this guy I'm seeing I'm depressed but all he's done is say he don't wanna hear it and if I'm gonna keep talking to him like that then we should stop talking. Is that even helpful? He's a nice guy despite what he said but it goes to show some people really don't understand what depression is like. They never had to go through it.

So again I'm constantly going about my day as stupid as it sounds but I got no choice.

Just gonna have to keep pretending I'm ok to everyone as that's what people want right?

Thanks for reading.

MickD
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:57 pm

Re: Feeling hopeless

Postby MickD » Tue May 02, 2017 4:04 pm

I feel you with the people not understanding. I cant talk to my male friends about depression because theyve all got that masculine mentality of just 'get over it' so i cant really talk it out or open up to them.

AOC
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed May 03, 2017 1:30 pm

Re: Feeling hopeless

Postby AOC » Thu May 04, 2017 2:15 pm

Hi!
Sometimes when I feel down I try to remember that there's always a way for me to take the best care of myself as I can in this situation and circumstances, no matter how oppressive or restrictive. You have to be kind to customers, but you don’t have to be fairly bubbly energetic; there is a calm paced kindness — having kind eyes goes a long way.

When I’m disconnecting from being overstimulated and workout in public I go through and try to do something to engage each of my five senses. First, I'll find something nice to smell, or I’ll notice or think about a good smell (I carry peppermint with me). Then, I'll pick out a sore spot on my body and rub it or stretch. Next I'll look for something beautiful, amazing, or funny. Then I'll listen for a sound and really notice its tone, meter, etc. and think of what it looks like as a frequency. Lastly I'll chew a piece of mint gum or use cinnamon breath drops (if at home I can also drink some orange water or pick a seasoning spice out of the cabinet and put just a bit of it mixed with a few grains of salt on my tongue).

I also ask myself "what could possibly be good about this?" and "what mindset can I learn? What role model can I channel their energy and attitude?" I think of Paul in the Bible who spent a lot of time in prison and used it to write letters (most of the New Testament!) and others like Nelson Mandela.

I also address burnout and people stress by talking to God. I remember that my obligation to and acceptance come from him, not from anyone else in my life, whether they are an authority figure or not. I talk with Him all the time and listen for Him in what He shows me and little thoughts that are better quality (beautiful, funny, accepting, trusting) than my normal thoughts.

Stay in tune with your body, remember that Christ is always with you as your closest and most insightfully simple but intelligent friend, and focus on your strengths and mentally pointing out to yourself your positive attributes and thoughts. One day at a time.

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: Feeling hopeless

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Thu May 04, 2017 4:25 pm

Thank you both for replying back to me. I really do appreciate it.

MikeD yeah I've heard that before too. I'm obviously not a guy but guys tend to have to be strong all the time then us women. It's goes down to what you said being masculine. It's a shame really cuz guys should be able to express how they feel. Why arnt women getting the same treatment??

Even though you can't talk to them there are people you can talk to. A guy or a girl. Someone will listen to you. Your friends may not know how or what to say and goes back down to being a guy but if they experience it themselves then they would know how it feels. Remember to confide in those who will understand and not just be there.

Please keep in touch :)

Also thank you very much for your reply too AOC. Nice to meet you.

Everything you said is a good way of looking at life. I never really thought until now taking in the little things. I've heard having your favourite things with you can make a big difference to your mood and well-being.

I like the smell of lavender. Lavender is one of those you either like or you don't. There's so many ways you can use it. I don't have lavender on me but that's something I can look into. Does anything help you? What do you like?

Yeah I agree about customers. I have to put on a face everytime you go work. When you said not to be bubbly or anything I am but that's because I've had to as before I wasn't engaging as much as I could. Also manager said. I don't have much of social life outside of work but hoping to change that.

I am trying to look at things more positively but it's hard for me being negative but I know I have to try not to. I look at it more realistically. I always presume things will be bad but things can never stay bad. It can only get better. I struggle when I have bad day I just think about the bad day and not the good days. Don't know how to get passed that but it's what you said those little things. Knowing ways of what can will work from me will help alot.

Yes I will take one day at a time. Trying to lol.

Thank you x

SuZQ154
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed May 03, 2017 6:06 pm

Re: Feeling hopeless

Postby SuZQ154 » Fri May 05, 2017 2:40 pm

So sorry that you are having a tough time. You are reaching out which is the first step to helping yourself! Keep talking and posting! We are here for you.

I tend to deal with my depressing days like AOC, seeking the Lord's love and guidance. Have you considered Christian counseling? When I was going through a very dark time, Christian counseling gave me a safe place to express my anxieties and worries which my friends and family did not seem to understand. She gave me new tools to help me change my thinking, which changed my behaviors! You might want to check out this out, if you are interested in seeking professional help. http://bit.ly/2qMgVYE Hope this helps and praying for you today! Please keep posting!

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: Feeling hopeless

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Sat May 06, 2017 12:53 pm

Thank you for your reply.

No I haven't considered Christian Counselling? I didn't think there was such a thing. I would like therapy but haven't got the point of acessing it yet as I've been doing others thing like working etc.

I'm glad that it's helped you. Are you still going with it? It's good to know that we all eventually get help in something or find something what helps us give us the motivation to carry on in life. Positive thing to know.

At the moment I'm seeing the doctor and getting regular check ups with my anti depressants. I'm also in touch with an organisation helping me to get out in the community and meet people. Support groups is something I'm looking into to so it's a long process right now.

I will check the link you sent me. Thank you for sending me that. I hope it helps.


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