How forgotten abuse can impact your life...

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Exhale_10Stages
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:33 pm

How forgotten abuse can impact your life...

Postby Exhale_10Stages » Sat Apr 29, 2017 12:04 pm

Confusion, anger, isolation, self harm etc.. i could go on forever about the different emotions and Stages that i went through after suffering from abuse by someone that you automatically are supposed to love & trust. When molestation/rape happen inside a close knit african american family, it could go either two ways. The first way is 1. Believe the victim, report the abuser and be there to emotionally and mentally support for the victim. or 2. Ignore the victim, deny the abuse happen, allow the abuser to walk free to harm someone else because (like you)they are "family". & You cant turn your back on family....

I was under the category of number 2. I was ignored, neglected, and had to still interact with my abuser. It gotten to the point where i had a hard time remembering numbers. So days, months, years went by and so did my memories of my abuse. It work for a while, you know being oblivion to a traumatic time that alter my life and perceptions. But when i started to show unexplained signs of anger, mental illness, and onset early on unhealthy attachment to sex then i started to blame myself. For awhile, well actually until i turn 15, i blame myself for reasons unexplained. I started to get fuzzy details on events that i thought i long ago discarded. I became reclusive, hostile, depressed and then by 16 i remembered everything. & it would hurt me because what i remembered the most was the after reaction to when i finally disclosed my abuse with my mom and aunt(abuser mother). at such a young age, where innocence should always be protected, i was taught a disgusting lesson about the power of your voice. I always had a problem explaining myself or avoid confrontational scenarios but never knew why. But now i know, when you speak out and noone is there to listen then why speak at all? Who do you matter to? Why should anyone care about you or what you have to say? But im done being that person, my voice is powerful. my story must be heard. Even if no one is there to listen. I can reach someone who went through similar events, someone who is also unwilling to speak out. You matter!

*Trigger Warning* Im going to attach a audio clip of me talking about the Confusion Stage and a more emotional input on my abuse, who abuse me, how my 'mother' and 'aunt' reacted to my voice, and what cause my mental breakdown a couple months back...

*TRIGGER WARNING- https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bxkfto ... =drive_web * (i alter my voice pitch to keep my anonymity)

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: How forgotten abuse can impact your life...

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Sat Apr 29, 2017 1:11 pm

I'm sorry to hear what you went through. I don't know how it felt for you but I'm glad you had the power to just share your story.

I hope now you are getting the help you want. It's unfortunate how this happened. Your not on your own and your sharing awareness for this.

Hopefully other people can open up and share their stories too.

Please remember to keep reaching out to us.

Hugs

Helloraspberries

Exhale_10Stages
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:33 pm

Re: How forgotten abuse can impact your life...

Postby Exhale_10Stages » Sat Apr 29, 2017 7:21 pm

Helloraspberries1 wrote:I'm sorry to hear what you went through. I don't know how it felt for you but I'm glad you had the power to just share your story.

I hope now you are getting the help you want. It's unfortunate how this happened. Your not on your own and your sharing awareness for this.

Hopefully other people can open up and share their stories too.

Please remember to keep reaching out to us.

Hugs

Helloraspberries


Thank you so much! I feel as if a weight has been off my shoulder after telling my story, its a beautiful liberating feeling. I have been saw a campus therapist last semester and i never knew how much i needed someone to hear me until i was hyperventilating and crying in the middle of our student union. I knew that once i tell my story, i could open some kind of dialogue on child sex abuse in tight knit families and how we could better handle it.

JLM1980
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue May 02, 2017 10:12 pm

Re: How forgotten abuse can impact your life...

Postby JLM1980 » Tue May 02, 2017 10:16 pm

I am truly sorry that you had to endure not only the abuse itself, but also that you were put in the position of being told not to talk about it or that no one believed you. I think that it is great that you are talking about it and using your voice to help others. I encourage you to continue to go through the healing process so that you are able to help even more people. God bless!


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