Depression Understood Forums

Hi,

Two months ago, I started to have anxiety attacks, I had just moved to a new office and was placed next to a bully (I'm not sure whether or not this was the trigger), the numbness afterwards made me feel as though I don't know people. I have been with my partner for the last six and a half years, we're saving up to move in together. After having these anxiety attacks, I started to feel as though I didn't know my boyfriend, I would then meet up with him and realise that this wasn't true. However, a couple of weeks after I started the anxiety attacks, he told me that he was planning to propose on my birthday, (I've wanted him to propose for the last three years), because I had been having these feelings of not knowing him, I immediately panicked. Now however, I can't seem to get the idea out of my head that it was him saying he was going to propose that started them in the first place - even though I know that it was before that. I'm now having panic attacks daily and am constantly numb. I can't focus on my job, and have taken a lot of time off sick. I'm constantly over thinking when I look at my boyfriend and am now starting to tell myself that I don't love him anymore. Before the anxiety attacks I had never had feelings of doubt towards our relationship or my love for him. I don't know what to do, I either feel like I don't know him or then theres time that I look at him, realise I do love him and am terrified that he's going to leave me. Please help me, I genuinely feel as though I'm losing my mind. Thanks

Hello Sophie,
What a scary position you are in right now! I am sorry to hear the heart break you are struggling with and the confusion you are feeling and trying to make sense out of all of this. It is tough, I know, I have been there too. You should probably make an appointment to go and talk to your doctor if you have one. I would also suggest maybe find a good counselor to talk with. If you cannot afford a counselor, I would suggest finding a local pastor and set an appointment to see him and maybe, you and him can figure out where to go from there.

If you truly love your boyfriend, let him help and support and encourage you! "Focus on what is Real!"
You know your boyfriend loves you, you know the you love him. 1.) FOCUS ON YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER."IT IS REAL!"
2.) FOCUS ON FACTS
3.) FOCUS ON FAMILY
4.) FOCUS ON FRIENDS

I like to use little sayings from time to time to help me; F.O.C.U.S.

Faith- Believe- (what is true, what is real)
Overcome- Fight- (do not let anxiety or anxiousness take over)
Center- Balance- (Find the center of where you can find calm and peace)
Undergo- Transformation- ( Be willing to work hard )
Significance/ Success- Reached your Goal! (You Made It!)

I am pulling for you and know that you will be an OVERCOMMER!

Hi Sophie, sorry to hear how your feeling.

I'm not saying whether this is true or not but do you think this started to happen because of work? Sometimes anxiety can happen in so many ways just like depression. It's normal to feel like this.

Does your work have an anti bullying policy? If so I recommend you talking to one of managers at your work and let them deal with it. Every work place should have a anti bullying policy in place. If you can find out that would be good.

Also I know it's hard to talk about how you feel but counselling is a good idea. You sometimes don't know how better you feel once speaking to someone.

I hope your able to talk to someone and hopefully gain trust with your boyfriend again. I know its hard but let him know how you feel. You may be surprised how good he's being towards this.

Please keep reaching out and letting us know what happens.

Hugs x

Hi Sophi, i have to agree with the previous poster. It sounds like this was triggered by the move to the office and then being placed next to a bully. You mentioned that be didn't say anything more about that is going. Are you still being bullied and what are you doing about. I agree that you should speak to your HR department about bullying. If they are using standard operating procedures, the whole thing can be handled anonymously. Definitely don't ignore the Anxiety. Do you have healthy benefits? If you do should looking into therapy. Talking things out to find the root cause of your anxiety will help you deal with things in a more healthy way also. There's a book I recommend you read also called " The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne "This book does an excellent job with giving a clear and concise understanding of the causes of anxiety. It also shares many great ideas of many of the treatment options available. This book on anxiety also delivers a multitude of strategies that can fit different people with differing levels of anxiety." I hope things work out for you.