I need to let out, apologies if this is the wrong place

[Fusychio]

Hi everyone, as in the title I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to put it or anything, and I know what I'm going through is nothing compared to other people and apologies in advance if what I'm calling 'depression' is an insult to anyone.

Well I guess I'll just get on with it,

I have been feeling low for just over 4 months now and I believe it's only getting worse, I have gone through periods of self harm and possible suicidal thoughts. I feel very much alone and put Aside, I have many friends who I thought were go to people and I know it's selfish to say but over this past month all I have had seems to have them palm me off, and it is leading me to isolating myself more and more. Although having said that, I just want to talk to someone but no one's there. I feel like it's going to push me further down.

At the same time Im coming up to possibly the most important three weeks of my life so far and I already feel like I've failed and am a literal failure and let everyone down since I am finding no pleasure in anything I do. My studies are suffering and I'm letting lots of other people down in my line of work, I'm even considering if I should even be doing what I am....

I ramble far too much, and apologies for clogging up this site, just feel like I nended to let out and possibly someone will listen, thanks guys

[jvincent]

You are rambling to a sea of people who can all relate to your story and have all rambled on about their own stories on here. So you are in the right place. People may not post but lots of folks will read your words and wish they can help in some way.

Personaly it sounds like you're focusing so much on other peoples expectations. You are not allowing yourself to focus on,, yourself and what you are doing.

I was whining about my life here earlier and some one slapped me on the head and told me what I already knew deep down. The more you tell yourself that you have already failed before you begin , the less effort you will put into it because you have already rehursed the failure in your head over and over. You are essentialy doing self hypnosis for failure. so your mind helps you do what you programed it to do .. fail

If you can imagine yourself balls to the wall excited about succeeding and
doing all the work necessary to make that happen until you reach your success.
When you hold that success in your head and feel it in your fingers ....does that change the feeling for a split second?. If it does then you programed your mind to succeed for a split second.
Best of luck man.


Long ago In an earlier chapter of my life when I was a fighter we would say if you give it your all and lost there was always honor in the loss. If you didn't give it your all and you lost, you failed yourself
-J


RAGE on into the dying of the light.

[ThePolisher]

Hello! What jvincent said is true. Think it, be it. Both negative and positive. The hard part is staying positive because failing is so much easier to do and change is hard to achieve but not impossible.