A random story of mine
Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:39 pm
This will be a story of mine... one of many. But unlike the other ones which suite in this theme, im proud of this one to happen... well... most of it. End should have been better.
It will be a year by now. He was a good guy. I guess he´s doing all right up there. But first things first.
I first met him about the end of August back there. He was exactly as same as i. Experienced the same pain you know. Both of us totally destroyed by our lifes here. Naturally we tried to get the other one know better, cause both of us knew that the other one will undetstand. Later we even spent more and more time together, supporting each other, hearing the other´s thoughts and so. But even though we were happier than before, our mutual deppresion haven´t faded away. Still carrying our burdens further. And then it came.
One evening he texted me if i have some free time back then. Even if i didn´t have, i would always make time for him. He just started with general chatting, like nothing is happening. But then a sentence „I´m gonna go suicide myself“ draw my attention hard. I was asking what is happening, and if couldn´t help somehow. He said no, that he is already made his choice. He explained how he get to that conclusion. When he finished himself he said: „Think about it. Take your time before you answer.“ But i hadn´t needed time for answering. I completely understood how he felt and get to this end. I knew that there wasn´t any chance of persuading him to not to do it. All i could have done, is support him. I know it may sound horrible, but once someone made a decision like this and that person does know why he is gonna do it, there is no way of changing it. You can delay it, but not change it. So i said i understand once more and he seemed to be trully happy about that. I asked if there´s anything i could help him with. He asked if i can wrote something down for him, and keep it as long as i can. „Of course i can do that.“ i said. So i have written down all he said, his thoughts, his explanations to everything... his messages to those left was going to leave. And i safely keep it still in my PC and some disk to be sure, locked down as long as i will be able to. It´s the least i could have done for him.
And too, i will always remember our final chat.
Him: „So... i think this is the end, huh?“
Me: „Yeah... seems so.“
Him: „Ok then. And be sure, ill reserve a warm place on the other side once i get there for you“
Me: „Heh... that´s nice of you.“
Him: „It´s not a big deal.“
Me: „Maybe. But... you know... I´m happy i knew you.“
Him: „Me too. You made my leave more easier. I can now go with a calm heart, thanks to you.“
Me: „It was a pleasure... shame i am not able to do anything more for you.“
Him: „No, it´s ok... you have done more than i could wanted.“
Me: „Ok then.“
Him: „So... bye, and farewell on the other side.“
Me: „Bye...“
And so... he was gone. First moments i couldn´t believe it, i kept staring at the monitor, asking if i have done the right think. But yeah, i´ve done the right thing i think. Half an hour later when i stopped asking this question i looked out from window. It was raining... I haven´t slept whole night back there. I was still thinking about him if he had really done it.
The next day came... and then another. On the third one i caught up a message that he jumped of building and killed him himself that way. I... smiled, looked up to the sky and thought: „Give my regards to those on the other side, man.“
It will be a year by now since he left us. I will surely go to his grave. And a year after that, and after that. He... was a good guy, so he deserves it.
It will be a year by now. He was a good guy. I guess he´s doing all right up there. But first things first.
I first met him about the end of August back there. He was exactly as same as i. Experienced the same pain you know. Both of us totally destroyed by our lifes here. Naturally we tried to get the other one know better, cause both of us knew that the other one will undetstand. Later we even spent more and more time together, supporting each other, hearing the other´s thoughts and so. But even though we were happier than before, our mutual deppresion haven´t faded away. Still carrying our burdens further. And then it came.
One evening he texted me if i have some free time back then. Even if i didn´t have, i would always make time for him. He just started with general chatting, like nothing is happening. But then a sentence „I´m gonna go suicide myself“ draw my attention hard. I was asking what is happening, and if couldn´t help somehow. He said no, that he is already made his choice. He explained how he get to that conclusion. When he finished himself he said: „Think about it. Take your time before you answer.“ But i hadn´t needed time for answering. I completely understood how he felt and get to this end. I knew that there wasn´t any chance of persuading him to not to do it. All i could have done, is support him. I know it may sound horrible, but once someone made a decision like this and that person does know why he is gonna do it, there is no way of changing it. You can delay it, but not change it. So i said i understand once more and he seemed to be trully happy about that. I asked if there´s anything i could help him with. He asked if i can wrote something down for him, and keep it as long as i can. „Of course i can do that.“ i said. So i have written down all he said, his thoughts, his explanations to everything... his messages to those left was going to leave. And i safely keep it still in my PC and some disk to be sure, locked down as long as i will be able to. It´s the least i could have done for him.
And too, i will always remember our final chat.
Him: „So... i think this is the end, huh?“
Me: „Yeah... seems so.“
Him: „Ok then. And be sure, ill reserve a warm place on the other side once i get there for you“
Me: „Heh... that´s nice of you.“
Him: „It´s not a big deal.“
Me: „Maybe. But... you know... I´m happy i knew you.“
Him: „Me too. You made my leave more easier. I can now go with a calm heart, thanks to you.“
Me: „It was a pleasure... shame i am not able to do anything more for you.“
Him: „No, it´s ok... you have done more than i could wanted.“
Me: „Ok then.“
Him: „So... bye, and farewell on the other side.“
Me: „Bye...“
And so... he was gone. First moments i couldn´t believe it, i kept staring at the monitor, asking if i have done the right think. But yeah, i´ve done the right thing i think. Half an hour later when i stopped asking this question i looked out from window. It was raining... I haven´t slept whole night back there. I was still thinking about him if he had really done it.
The next day came... and then another. On the third one i caught up a message that he jumped of building and killed him himself that way. I... smiled, looked up to the sky and thought: „Give my regards to those on the other side, man.“
It will be a year by now since he left us. I will surely go to his grave. And a year after that, and after that. He... was a good guy, so he deserves it.