Depression Understood Forums

I have never done anything like this before but I find myself to be crying a lot lately and feel really sad, which isn't common for me. I have had a lot of struggles in life and remained strong through all of them. My dad was a functional alcoholic. My mom had stage 3 invasive breast cancer when I was a senior in high school. My mom has been almost 5 years cancer free though which is awesome. All my grandparents have passed away except one, who has alzheimers and dementia. In 2012 my dad passed away from a heart attack, I watched and was on the phone with 911, as my little sister tried to preform cpr. I have struggled with an eating disorder for the past 2 years but have been managing it. I just moved to a new city for a job and I dont know anyone and I am not near my family or friends for the first time in my life and it's hard. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Hey there Cj. I'm really sorry for everything that you went through. It sounds like a nightmare. It's so unfair that you had to go through something like that.

Welcome to the message boards. This is an awesome place to come to when your hurting and have been through so much. The people here are really nice and they truly care and listen.

Anytime you need to need to get things off your chest please do.

Take care always and ( hugs ) !!

Thank You for the reply that means a lot!

Hi cj05,

It sounds like you have had a lot on your plate to deal and cope with.

Not sure if this applies to you, but one of the things I was bad for (still am) was dwelling on the negative things that happened...they call it rumination. It's like worry, only it's about what happened and the possible consequences of it vs what might happen in the future. You start to over think things and it works itself into a downward spiral.

For me, I would start to think about all that happened, and then start feeling alone, regret, what I could have done, should have done. The problem is that no matter how much you want the past to change...it can't be. It's perfectly normal to feel this way, it's what make us human. What makes you feel bad defines a part of what makes you who you are. The problem is to not let it take over and prevent the happiness from coming back...always easier said than done though

When your feeling bad try and do something that you think will help. Maybe an activity to take your mind off it, or maybe by coming back and getting whatever you need to off your chest. I know for me, it helped to get my problems off my chest as a way to deal and process it.

Sometimes it's just a matter of having that avenue to share your thoughts and problems, and feel like there is someone out there who is listening.