Thank u so much frame, for analysing my posts.
and then for agreeing with me.
No no...i am not taking u in a wrong way. I understand what u r trying to explain here.
I don't know how to copy-paste a portion of someone's post. So i will be writing certain portions from ur posts...not in Your exact words.
Frame, u said that listening can be a difficult work to do sometimes. Then u said that same applies for the speaker as well.
U r absolutely right frame. But allow me to add one more thing in ur list of "respect, love, care, sex...." and that is WILLINGNESS!
Both the persons in a relationship should be willing to solve out the misunderstandings and to figure out various ways to balance everything and to sit calmly and discuss there issues so as to convert their rough and cactus garden like relationship into a meadow.
Both should be Willing to protect their relationship from the earthquake of misunderstandings and from the frustrations that have been caused by the outside world like their work place tensions, getting bullied by some one, etc etc.
If the listener is not willing to put in the efforts to save their relationship then it WILL BE really hard for him to listen to the other person...even if the speaker is justifying himself or explaining the whole scenario or apologizing. Doesn't matter.
If the speaker is not willing, then the things can become even more worst. That's because, anger or being under the influence of extremes of emotions, speaker can fail to choose right and self-explanatory words. Instead, he can choose more provocative and hurtful words.
In that case, instead of solving the root cause of a problem in between them, they can end up blaming each other.
We can't deny the fact that a harmonious relationship demands a lot of Patience from both the persons.
I believe, everyone should try to find out their own mistakes first, before raising finger on the partner. One should not think blindly that he or she is absolutely right...and the other person is the only one at fault.
There's a metaphor "try to put urself into my shoes and then see how it feels". Both the partners should at least try to learn the art of putting themselves into each other's shoes....this way they will be able to judge the whole scenario from a very different angle.
Love and married life are not what we see in movies. In reality they come with intense responsibilities.
I mean, Having candle lit dinners, a slow dance with eyes locked with each other's, having kids, very often repeating the sentence "we will be together, no matter what" ARE just the parts of the journey of relationship....in movies and novels, it seems like there are only these things in a relationship.
Even a machine like A Car also demands repair and service sometimes...so how can we get irritated when relationships demand extra potential to bear with its ups and downs.
So the new list is (in this order)
One more thing!
Frame can u plz explain how do u copy paste small small portions of posts! And that too in different colours. I really liked it. Ha ha ha.