Depression Understood Forums

Hello whoever reads this.
I don't know how to start.
Sometimes i have all these things going on in my head and cannot get it to stop. But when i need to think i cannot get it to work.
I lose time and sometimes find myself miles away from home, sometimes i have driven places and don't know where i am going.
My visits to the psychologist are really stirring things up and even though i do not want to tell her about things, her probing is really affecting me.
I have told her it is triggering and making things worse and i do not know how to deal with what is coming up. But when iactually make it to the appointments, she keeps telling me that all of my personalities are safe there and if they want to talk to her, they can.
Sometimes this scares the crap out of me and sometimes i can hear the screaming in my head, arguing, and fighting to come out, or hide and shut up.
I have been hospitalised on many occasions and even in there i have episodes where i have done something i do not remember and have been moved off the ward into the secure lock up ward. That is terrifying and then the staff treat me different and i can't trust anyone and hospital no longer feels safe.
So much goes on and i no longer know what my triggers are as it is getting worse.
Feel so hopeless, more now than ever
For some reason i couldn't get in to the chat room. so i came here to vent.
I don't know what to do and i live in a rural town with only one psychologist and my appointments are weeks apart.
I called her the other day as i was desperate for what i don't really know. But it was over a day before she could call me back. In the meantime i knocked myself out with heaps of medication just to make it all stop.
That is what they do when i am in hospital, so that is all i know to do when it all gets out of control now.
I really don't want to play anymore.
Plus i don't think i can.
_________________
Trying hard regardless

Hello sherbet,
Please don't take this to mean I don't care about your entire story...But, what do the voices say? How do 'they' act/converse? There's a reason I ask. Do you also experience other things while going through these voices? Seeing things? Maybe shadows? Tactile sensations? (Feeling touched). Please be detailed, if you would. If you wish to pm me, please, by all means DO. However, it might be gracious to let others know, as it can help them.
Sherbet, I am sorry that you're going through this...

Hi Sherbet. I don't have much familiarity with multiple personalities, I'm more of a garden variety chronic depressive. I did hear a really good interview a few weeks ago. The lady being interviewed had had a lot of trouble with multiple personalities. She had been hospitalized many times for her illness and for fairly long periods of time. It had been a hard period of her life, but she managed to finish college and get into law school. At the time of theiinterview she was an accomplished jurist and was a professor at a university.

Many of us don't overcome our problem s, bbut it's nice to hear about those who do. It gives me hope that even after 40 years of struggling daily with depression, things may stillwwork out.

I wish I had some good advice for you my friend, but about all I can really say is good luck and hang in there.

Hi, Sherbet,
I posted a reply in the Profiles thread where you had also posted about this.