insomnia rules the night, again...

[GreenEyess]

I can't be the only human that lets insomnia rule the night. I thought that maybe I'm depressed when I all I want to do is sleep the day away, but lately my days are wide awake. I try so hard to clear my mind and it overloads with feelings, memories and mistakes..

I know we're not perfect, or at least I'm not, but why must I feel like there is something wrong with me.. Like I was born with a defect. I blamed my stepparent molesting me, I blamed my mother for not believing in me. Well up until recently ma and I had no relationship and then "BAMMM" we are like sisters.. But mention how "Bob" treated us, complete denial.

But out of everyone, I blame myself. I screw up every day and I have not one good excuse or reason... Or a purpose..... Please do tell me that this can or might be a glimmer of normalcy?

[scrabble]

Hi Green

"I screw up every day and I have not one good excuse or reason... Or a purpose" sounds like a normal day for me. Not sure why I am here or what I am trying to achieve. Don't even know what I would change in my life now if I had the chance, although I am desperately unhappy.

You are not alone in this, and these feelings are not your fault. Try to love and help yourself regardless of how others see or treat you.

[Alaska1958]

Hey Green Eyes,

It is 2:30am here in Alaska and I'll probably be up for at least a couple more hours. So no, you aren't the only one to let insomnia rule the night.

As far as screwing up every day, in that too you have company. Myself more than most I think. I had a safe and secure childhood and I've still managed to muck up my life pretty good. I'm sorry to hear of the troubles you had in yours. It's good that you and your mother are close now though.

[App]

Hello from another insomniac. My sleep problems don't just stem from my depression. My brain injury left me with no regular sleep pattern. After a seizure I have to sleep through the aftermath. This can see me flat out @ 6 pm which means I'm awake @ 2pm but means I'm asleep @ 10 pm & so I'm wide awake @ 6 am! It's like permanent jet lag! Good job I can do a lot of work from home. Anyone seen the film; "If this is Tuesday it must be Belgium"?!
It really drains me which only exacerbates my mood swings & feelings of guilt.