Depression Understood Forums

I trully thought I had beaten this disorder but events keep happening that reawaken the flashbacks, the humiliation, the pain and embarrassment the resulting anxiety and depression. I find that life has failed me and I find it so hard to cope.
I am not suicidal I have lived with this a long time. I fear losing my job, and my home over this. I have a spouse but not a very good one for emotional support and he can be abusive. I do not have friends where I live aside from aquaintances at work.
Two years ago I was sexually assaulted and one my my sons was convicted on pedophile charges. I lapsed into post traumatic stress disorder and couldn't cope. Started abusing alcohol at the time and was on meds. The conbination of meds and alcohol with panick attacks led me to drink and drive and lose my liscense. That was 2006. I suffer a lot of oppession over both incidents. My children don't live with me any more and we have very little contact. My family disowned me over learning that I am a CSA survivor as well. I live on a farm so I have very limited contact with the outside world. I was sexually assaulted last year again and things with hubby have been dangling by a thread ever since. Even though the police were told about the incidents no charges were ever laid against my perpetrators. Lack of evidence and the anxiety and PTSD kept me from remebering thing clearly.
My spouse is in denial and perpetrates to every one that the reason I am ill is all alcohol based. I do binge occasionally but not overly so. This is his excuse for hiding his abuse and keeping people away from me. I have been a member on another two forums for a long time but most member are in different time zones and not online when I am. I am hoping that this forum being centred in Ontario I can find support when I feel in crisis.

I'm so glad you had the courage to come here and post as well as join to the chat room. The moment I read your post, I thought of a place in Ontario called Homewood Health Centre. It is located in Guelph Ontario and is covered by OHIP. The PTSD (Trauma) program is a 2 month in patient program and is the only one like it in Canada. It is very very good and from the content you posted y you will find that this program focuses on your needs. All the forms you need are available form their web site which a GP or psychiatrist needs to complete. Joannag, I cannot express strongly enough how much you need something like this. One aspect of this program not found in any other is that they will work with your family to help them understand PTSD and support you. Homewood also recognizes that PTSD is the cause of many secondary issues such as addiction.They understand that alcohol is used by those with PTSD to cope with it. Their wait list is long, but worth the wait --imo.

http://www.homewood.org/healthcentre/ma ... ID=1&lID=4


There is another one at the Centre fo Addiction and Mental Health --an outpatient program, Which, also is quite good. This is located in Toronto.

http://www.camh.net/About_CAMH/Guide_to ... linic.html

All the best and if you need more info let me know.

cec

(((((((((((((((( joannag )))))))))))))))))

Welcome and thank you for sharing as you have. Hope to hear more from you and know we care and support to the best of our abilities.

Take care

Warmie