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uh, hey

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 3:09 pm
by tryandtryagain
I guess this is where I talk about me. So here's my story. Typical "daddy didn't love me, mommy didn't care" story. My dad bailed when I was a few days old. My mother was still partying and got into some drugs, uppers downers, there was some meth, occassional pot smoking. She went boyfriend to boyfriend and husband to husband. The first one I remember was when I was three and he use to hit her. He kicked us out pretty early on and that started my life of moving place to place and person to person. I've gone to 11 different schools (I'm 19 now). I lived with an "aunt", not related to me, a step aunt, an alcoholic aunt and her abusive husband in a different state, an uncle and his pothead gf, grandparents that were major pillheads, etc. Then, when my little sister was born when I was six. Her dad made meth in our garage and when he and my mother got a divorce, he (of no relation to me) got joint custody of my little sister and me as well. Then through some more houses and people, I saw one of my "step dads" die because he drank bleach to pass a drug test. It made the paper.. I got teased a lot for that at school. My little brother was born soon to another crack head. He had needles all over his house. Oh and he gave my mother hepatitis which I've had to be checked for often because I lived with them. When I was twelve finally someone did something and my siblings and I got taken into custody and put in foster care. (None of the family wanted us.) I mean, they all wanted the baby, and some wanted the little girl, but none wanted me and dcs wanted to keep us together. I met my foster parents and treated them terribly bc I washurt and scared and learned to put walls up. Eventually through court dates and time, the two other siblings were claimed by family members, the girl by her dad and the baby by his grandparents. His dad later died from withdraws. Still no one wanted me. But FINALLY good came in the fact that my foster family wanted me.. and so I chose to stay. For years I had nightmares that my mom would break in my window and try to kill me. (She was bipolar and slightly psychotic). I have adhd I had it then but she use to steal my pills and take them or sale them. My school work was affected. The adoption and God are the only reason I am who I am today. As a plus.. in high school I fell in love. And by 17 I was ready to marry the boy, ring and all, and he cheated on me (multiple times) and lied to me and broke my heart. Around that time I was diagnosed with depression. And I have severe anxiety. I may be bipolar bc it is genetic, but I'm too scared to be checked. There's a LOT more to my story, but I think this is wnough for here.
It feels great to type this all out. *sigh*