Depression Understood Forums

I have NEVER really known someone. I think this is the reason I have been so depressed over the years. I never really knew my family and my friends. I look at my friends facebook pages and I see all these pictres of them with other friends having fun. I watch my ex-friends videos and they look so happy. Over the years I have lost a lot of friends. When I look at my pictures they mostly are of only me. Not my sister or parents, just lonely me.
I have also noticed that I am very protective of my territory, or frinds and family. If someone talks to my friends and family I feel like I have to let them know that I know whoever they're talking to.
I also have never dated someone before. I mainly haven't because of this stupid promise I made to myself and my family (mostly me), that I would never have a crush, date, or get married. As you can tell that was a stupid promise. I want to stick to my promise, but at the same time I want to break it. I can't though. So many people break promises and I don't want to be anyone of them.
I have found my only happiness comes from dreams, movies, tv shows, and books. In my dreamsI dream about magical things that can cure my pain.

And that's my story

Hi lonelygirl. I'm sorry that you feel so alone. I understand about not wanting to break promises. I also understand the feeling that too many people do. How old were you when you made this promise? A lot of people go through a stage where they say they will never marry either as a kid or after a bad break up. Sometimes people look on to it as like wait and see but they don't want to contradict the person at time. Noone can know what the future has in store. You have a right to be happy. I'm glad you are able to enjoy books and tv.

holly