Haven't done this before, but why not

[sherbet]

Hello, i haven't done this before, although i have been coming to the chat room on and off for over a year.
I find it hard to get through every day and often sedate myself by over medicating just to stop myself acting on my thoughts.
At the moment i am not able to get any help, except for the meds, as i have moved to a new state, new dr, and the mental health team won't help. That i found is devastating as it was so hard to think of having to start over again, with a new case worker. Then when i ring them to get help they refer ne back to the dr for a pschologist referrral instead.
I am having severe flashbacks, and not able to cope and care for myself and my daughter. I actually feel like i need to be in hospital again and have nowhere to go for help.
I disociate and woke up in the bush the other night. When i finally got home, my daughter was sitting on the lounge crying because she didn't know where i was.
I am only trying to get help to be here for her otherwise i could do what i really want to do and obsess over the magority of my waking hours.
I get so upset and so angry over the smallest of things. I cannot control my emotions, so i avoid everyone and don't want to make friends here or contact old ones. I know that isolating myself can make things worse, but i really have no interest anymore in trying to overcome these feelings.
Anyway i will finish rambling now as i am getting distressed.