Depression Understood Forums

So I've never been on a forum before. I don't know if I'm doing this right. Please excuse can't typos as I'm writing this from my phone in bed.
I'm currently five months pregnant. I have a 11 month old also. Right now i am desperate and having dark thought again which scares me for obvious reasons.
The short version of my history with depression;I have a history of anxiety and depression, two suicide attempts in my teens. Did better after i got married to my HS sweetheart and we built our life together when he joined the USMC in 05. I was diagnosed with postpartum after my11 month old was born last October. I tried five different anti depressant and had bad reactions to all before I decided I was better off without them. I've tried counseling, therapy but it doesn't work. And I know why but I don't feel comfortable getting into the gritty details yet.
Coming to this forum I was just hoping for comfort and understanding. I don't have that right now. I'm being told I'm weak and childish and it pulls me even deeper into that dark hole. I just want what's best for my babies and to know I'm not as alone as I feel. Advice would be nice too

Hi (((Seamless)))), an 11 month old is a lot of work, he/she is just starting to walk and becoming more active. A pregnancy, especially a second, does take a lot out of you so I am sure you are exhausted most of the time.
While I never suffered depression, I did have 4 pregnancies and 3 live births. The work is never ending and the need for support is very important. You say counseling/therapy did not work but maybe it helped a little.
I think it is important that you keep the lines of communication open with your healthcare provider through this pregnancy. Explain how you are feeling and ask for advice and support. If babysitters and or adult help is available for the 11 month old, take it..and keep taking it.

Is a mom's group a possibility? I found once a week meetings with other new moms and babies to be a real life saver for me. We all spoke the same language and understood what lack of sleep, all night feeding, and crying babies was like.

Keep posting and please know that here, there is always someone to talk to..a strong hug.