If I had wings to fly...
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 3:58 pm
I'm almost seventeen, no boyfriend, no life. My mum and I are pretty close but I can't talk to her about some things. I don't eat anything really, it's too much work. When I sleep, the nightmares come. I can't cry. I can't waste time on my own happiness. I live my life to make others happy and it makes me miserable. I wish I could just go some where new, make a fresh start. A new house, a new school, a new me. I could be the goth/emo kid no one talks to, I wouldn't have any friends, no one could hurt me because I wouldn't care about them. I could lose myself in my stories and songs.
But that's never going to happen, I know I just need to deal with it because making others happy is my job. I feel like there's no escape because I'm not allowed to kill myself, I promised my mum I wouldn't. I don't want to hurt her like that. What's the point? Everyone can get along just fine with out me. Why should I waste energy living?
But that's never going to happen, I know I just need to deal with it because making others happy is my job. I feel like there's no escape because I'm not allowed to kill myself, I promised my mum I wouldn't. I don't want to hurt her like that. What's the point? Everyone can get along just fine with out me. Why should I waste energy living?