The Ex-Misanthrope
Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 4:51 pm
Misanthrope means a person who has a distrust, disgust, or hate for the human race. A cold definition to a very cold word. But this is how I thought in the past and could you really blame me? I was exposed to only the downfall or short comings of humans; Greed, abuse, hatred, imbecilic. All of these were directed towards me and I hated them for it. The people who did these things to me were my family, my teachers, my peers, my friends. I saw the human race as a machine that only sucked away at the life of this planet, never helped it. I choose to hate everyone for this and became a very acrimonious person. I had these feelings for a very long time, and to be perfectly honest it was all I knew.
I believe it was either August or September that I found this site’s chat room. I was feeling down about the situation I was facing, loneliness and I wanted support. I was introduced to some of the best and loving friendships I have ever had. And then it dawned on me, how could I hate people who are or went through things I had to go through and worse. Who have suffered the same abuse, who have emotions, the same emotions I was so proud I didn’t have but now do. It showed me that there are people out there that are friendly and who are a contradiction to my past, of all the horrific people I was exposed to. I learned instead of taking it out on other people, instead of becoming a ticking time bomb waiting for the last straw to break my back. I changed. I changed and dealt with my emotions, I now see my self as the problem. If a person calls me a few chosen names I take it to heart now, instead of having a homicidal day dream about them. It may seem bad this new course of action, having myself to self destruct over others but I see it as progress, instead of taking it out on others I decide to destroy myself then hurt people around me.
I want to give everything I can to these people I have become friends with I am so concerned about all of the people in the chat room and I wish I could help them all. I also see if I help as many people I can it will be my redemption for the ways I have acted ealier in my life. But progress has been slow. Thank you for reading this have a wonderful day
I believe it was either August or September that I found this site’s chat room. I was feeling down about the situation I was facing, loneliness and I wanted support. I was introduced to some of the best and loving friendships I have ever had. And then it dawned on me, how could I hate people who are or went through things I had to go through and worse. Who have suffered the same abuse, who have emotions, the same emotions I was so proud I didn’t have but now do. It showed me that there are people out there that are friendly and who are a contradiction to my past, of all the horrific people I was exposed to. I learned instead of taking it out on other people, instead of becoming a ticking time bomb waiting for the last straw to break my back. I changed. I changed and dealt with my emotions, I now see my self as the problem. If a person calls me a few chosen names I take it to heart now, instead of having a homicidal day dream about them. It may seem bad this new course of action, having myself to self destruct over others but I see it as progress, instead of taking it out on others I decide to destroy myself then hurt people around me.
I want to give everything I can to these people I have become friends with I am so concerned about all of the people in the chat room and I wish I could help them all. I also see if I help as many people I can it will be my redemption for the ways I have acted ealier in my life. But progress has been slow. Thank you for reading this have a wonderful day
(((((ryan))))))