I'd help if I got responses.

[AndiCoe]

Hey guys, I never know were to start but it always end the same. That i'm 15 years old very young, but very depressed.
When I was younger I cried all the time. I guess I grew up too fast and didn't like the things I saw.. But now a'days I don't Let myself cry at all. Or get mad. I suck it all down until I cant hold it anymore.
Today I feel like I'm just 1 mistake away from never being able to be saved from the depression that overcomes me and everything I do.
Its hard to talk to anyone in real life because i don't want pity I want help.
If you knew me in life you'd never think I was as bad off as I am, because I don't show anything besides happy in fear of upsetting other people. Because I guess you can say I'm one who lives to make others happy before my self.
I give things away just to make people smile even if I really what what I gave away. I normally cant say no too a person. And If im ever in a fight even if I'm right I let the other person win . Because I'm a depressed Codependent pacifist who needs a great deal of help. All because I grew up too fast and saw too much..

[Obayan]

Hi. When you push things down and bury your feelings they have a way of popping up and exploding right at the exact moment you least want them to. Sometimes deep down inside, we feel we don't deserve it when good things happen. So we sabotage the good in our life. Sometimes we feel if we stop giving, people will stop being there to accept. It's a very hard balancing act to walk, but there has to be a middle ground. Talking with a counselor can help to find this.

[crystalgaze]

Hi Andrea! Welcome back!

Co-dependence isn't necessarily a bad thing. It depends on how it is done.


For the people you do things for, what do they do for you? Try to aim for something that has a back & forth, that the relation is reciprocal.

Now if the people you try to please don't do anything for you, it will be toxic.

You can side step a fight with a smile & an "I'm not going to argue with you." Why fight, when you can walk away & leave the person right there? Change the subject if you must.... (I've seen many folks use that tactic well.)

____________
It might help to set some ground rules for yourself. For example, don't let anyone "abuse" you--not verbally, not emotionally, not physically, not in any kind of way.

A simple "Don't talk to me that way." etc. can work.

Don't budge/bend on that rule. If people can't abide by it, kick them out your life & move on to new people. What you want for others, want for yourself & work toward it. You can do it!

Keep a notebook or something with you & jot down what you want for others.

Don't worry. Things took even me a while. I'm 27 now, & I think I finally got myself together/matured properly to a point. I worried a lot about myself--that I wouldn't be strong enough, etc.

Maybe you are going through a phase now. Do not give up hope. If you work at it, you can overcome what troubles you.

Think about it & figure out a way to counter whatever it is that makes you unhappy!

[Obayan]

(((( crystal ))))

thank you!

[crystalgaze]

Andrea, how are you?!

[nadiahoney]

letting yourself give in and letting other people go first is what I have always done. You are far from the only one -- and you're so self-aware (compared to me at yr. age.) I just try to think of it like this: if you have ever been near death or terrified, who is the one who you want to be near? Who would help you out at yr worst, who would you want to be around? It could even be a dog -- sometimes it is for me. All the others don't matter, really. They're nothing for you if they're not for you, if you know what i mean. Feeling powerless is definitely one of the most depressing feelings -- all studies point to this. Eventually animals and people give up when they are continually beaten down, and they learn to accept it. However: even if you once accepted something in the past, means you can also accept a different way of thinking. You can think, instead of, I never win and I need them to still love me and want me, I will feel worse if I keep letting other people override me. In the long run, feeling unbearable for a bit is a good thing if it means you respect yourself more. I am trying to even look forward to feeling incredibly uncomfortable -- I mean choosing what seems the right choice (you know it deep down) and feeling terrified -- rather than relenting and giving into the easier choice I am used to. God it's hard, but hey, gotta do it and grit yr teeth. (But pick and choose yr battles with wisdom.)