Feel like im loosin it

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:00 am
Location: Ireland

Feel like im loosin it

Postby JohninIreland » Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:03 am

Hey all I'm new to the site and I'd like to unload a little thats on my mind.
I'm a 30 year old guy from Ireland.

Two and a half years ago everything was going great for me.
I had just bought a new house with my girlfriend of 7 years, had a job I loved and lots of great friends.

Well, then the sh** hit the fan.

My girlfriend cheated on me, we broke up. Two months later I was laid off due to cutbacks.

So I decided to ge myself together again, after the x moved out I got some lodgers for the extra rooms and started back in college.

Two months before the end of my course my lodgers moved out without notice, I couldnt meet the mortage and had to move out.
The only place to stay was my father's down south, so had to leave the course.

I stayed with a few diffrent family members over a few months while saving what I could from my social to get my own place.

Eventually got there and got my own apartment.

Well turns out I couldnt keep up with the bills and rent pilled up and I couldnt cope.

Had to move again, this time to an old work mate's box room down south again.

Well been a year now with no family near by, the work mate I moved in with is a total twat :dry: and after hundreds of job applictions havnt gotten so much as an interview.

I've been on anti depressants for over a year now, they worked at first, but dont do anything for me now.
I either cant sleep or I sleep for 24 hours solid. To make things bloody worse after some teeth probs I started using nurofen plus for the pain, and now I cant get off the dam things.

I got no bloody hope left, nothing to look forward to and cant get the will to sort myself out even if I could.

sorry for the long rant

Posts: 664
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:39 am
Location: U.S.

Postby shatteredhopes » Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:20 pm

Welcome to the site JohninIreland, this is a supportive family here. There is also a wonderful chatroom connected with the site if you would like to check it out.

I don't know much about Ireland, but here in the USA if you are on disability/sickness benefits for depression/mental disorders, you can often get in a housing program that is supported and retraining for a job, including often assistance with college. Have you looked into what rehabilitation benefits you might be able to get? I know how hard it is to look for work when severely depressed, been there done that and its exhausting and so hard to keep your spirits up and fake your way through interviews like nothing is wrong and explain long absenses from work. I really think if there's something government provides, like assistance looking for work for people with mental health issues or retraining, supportive housing, anything like that, that could give you a fresh start. I hope they have something like that there. Are there any support groups for job seekers? Vocational rehab programs? Wish I knew more about Ireland and what to suggest...

I am not familiar with the drug you mentioned for your teeth, but would suggest you look up narcotics anonymous on line and for meetings in your area. You may need help if you are dependant on the drug and it is causing you problems. 12 step programs can be wonderful for turning around your life and also networking....someone from my 12 step program once brought me a job announcement and I got the job...I have picked up little odd jobs here and there from knowing people through the program too.

Often when anti-depressants once worked but do not any longer its because we've become acclimated to the drug, and need to adjust dosage, switch to something else, or add something. Talk to your doctor. Please don't give up hope.

You've been through so much in recent times its no wonder you feel overwhelmed and unable to piece your life back together, but with the right help and support, there may be some light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Meanwhile, welcome again. Big big hugs John. Wishing you a little light and peace in your day.
"Sorrow floats" John Irving

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